Time to Travel.

And we're off. Newark for New Years eve and Norfolk for New Years Day. If it's as much fun as there was alliteration in that sentence we'll have a great time!

And Channel 5, if you're going to run a competition, even a very easy one so everyone can get it right, at least spell it Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer not Rudolf!

Hope you all have a good New Year.

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas to you all.

Time for Crumpets, Scrambled Egg and Smoked Salmon.

Beef Wellington later with Christmas Pudding to follow.

Mmmmm!

Coming Apart At The Seams!

I am. Literally.

There is a problem with having major abdominal surgery. They have to cut through muscle and other internal offal. It takes time to heal. In the case of the Rectus Abdominis Muscle it can take two years to heal. That is the muscle that turns into a six pack. Mine's not going to. I have had a cold and cough for the last 5 days. So there I was on Sunday, gasing for air whilst coughing when I suddenly thought, "Hello, that doesn't feel right!". I developed a slight bulge on the left hand side of my stomach. Not a problem, if I didn't look I couldn't see it. So last night it started to hurt. Not much, but a bit like indigestion. This morning I thoought I better let the doctor have a look at it. She did. For about 2 seconds.

I've coughed myself into a hernia!

The area where they cut through for the operation in March has given way under the pressure of coughing, a problem that is not uncommon in post abdominal surgical patients, although I could see in her eyes that she was trying hard to find a way to introduce lardarse into the conversation as well.

And the answer is..... do nothing or have another little op. I'm going to opt for doing nothing for the time being. Well, that's not quite true. I'm not sure my adonis-like physique has been improved by an extra bulge, so I think it's time to actually go on the diet that I keep threatening. As soon as I've finished the half eaten packet of choccie biscuits and the bag of chocolate eclairs.

Part of me wishes it had happened during a bout of jollity. I would much rather report that I actually split my sides laughing.

Dangerous Work

I bought my poppy the other day. The nice lady got the poppy and the pin and put it on for me.

"I'm sorry" she said "I have to stick it on for you cos health and safety insist we do it"

"Why's that?" I asked

"In case you hurt yourself with the pin and sue me!" She replied. Eyes rolling.

So I am buying a poppy to remember all those who have gone to war and died to give me freedom and I'm not to be trusted with a pin!

Sleep Deprivation

Well, it's a week since the show and I'm still recovering. I must be getting old.

Got to get myself together for Thursday though, Singing backing vocals at a blues gig.

I must be mad!

Another Opening of Another Show

A tiring week coming up. We open in Pinafore on Wednesday. It has become the show from hell.

We started with one director, who was brought in from outside. Some of the members didn't like him, and although we don't know exactly what happened, his position became untenable and he "left".

One of the members stepped into the breech and started correcting everything they perceived wrong. With 4 weeks to go. We are now putting on something that would work as a school production for 5 year olds. Which to be fair, is who she teaches.

To go into the rest of it would take too long. We won an award last year for best musical. We won't this year.

There is a possibility I am going to Direct next year. They won't fucking know what hit 'em. I've directed before. I don't own a pair of kid gloves!

An Evenings Entertainment

Presently surrounded by young ladies discussing lingerie and, what in the idustry is known as "bedroomwear".

I don't know how I cope!

T'good Old Days

Graybo, (for it is he), linked to a post about Blogging in the old days.

Yep, proper blogging back then. Discovered I started May 2001. We had to be up in the morning at 5:30 to shovel coal into the blogomotive and connect all the rods between the hammerboard and the interwebnetoscope. Once you'd done that it was 4 hours to type just one word. They've made it too easy for everyone now.

As for joining Twitter. I don't even know how to go about getting a flock of singing amazonian trumpet birds, so I'll avoid that.

I'm a Medical Marvel, Me!

I had a check up at The Royal Marsden last Friday. Just routine, but for the first time since the op I met my consultant surgeon.

He has confirmed that the biopsy on my lymph nodes did show a trace of cancer. Smaller than a pinhead. I already knew that. What he was so "excited" about, and he was, is that I am the first person who has a) had a sertoli cell tumour and b) they have found a trace of cancer on the lymph nodes.

Up till now he could only advise that it was a possibility. Now he can say it's happened. Those who had the op before me made the right decision as if the cells had seeded they wouldn't have been seen but would have grown at a later date.

It makes having the op worthwhile for my own health and for others.

I admit, it does make me feel warm inside. Maybe it's a bit egotistical. I don't know. But I feel like I have advanced cancer knowledge and will help others in the future to protect their health.

And I've been written up. In a number of journals. And I'm the subject of lectures now and in the future.

And now there is one mother, presently holidaying in Blackpool, who has been proved right when she said her son was special. Just not in the way she'd hoped.

Smelling of Roses

Our local sewage treatment plane, Mogden Lane, are holding drop-in sessions.

Think I might give those a miss!

I think he's telling fibs!

Normally I don't buy croissants from supermarkets because basically, they are crap. A bit like southern fish and chips. However, for reasons I shaln't go into here I ended up with a box of Tesco Finest Croissants.

The famed chef Raymond Blanc, the only man whose French accent has got stronger the longer that he has lived in England, endorses not only these but also their Pain au Raisin and Pain au Chocolat.

All three carry exactly the same endorsement bar the name of the item. It goes;

These are the best .......... I have tasted outside of my own kitchen!

Really?

Monsieur Blanc is, as already mentioned, a Frenchie. Now, I have visited France a number of times and, hand on heart, I don't think I have ever had any of those items as poor as Tesco's.

But maybe he didn't mean In the whole world, just the UK. Now, There is a chain of French bakers and patissiers called Paul. I haven't had their stuff much because I still don't think they make it as well here as they do in their French stores, but I bet they are better than Tesco's.

Perhaps he didn't mean other chains. Now, there is another well known French chef in this country, Michel Roux. I've never judged his food myself, but those in the know regard him as the best Chef de Patisserie there is, anywhere, in the world. Now, croissants etc are not normally patisserie items I shouldn't think but I've a feeling Michel can knock out a quick bakery item well in excess of the Tesco Finest range.

Perhaps he meant literally outside his kitchen. Like, the other side of the door. Then maybe he is right.

But to be honest, I think he's going to find it bloody hard to prove in a court of law.

Autumn Clean.

As you can see I'm having a bit of a change.

Some links have gone, partly because they were dead and partly cos Blogger didn't transfer them and I haven't got round to finding them yet.

Why has Masher got no little blue blip beside his link? Who knows. Does Big Blogger know something we don't?

Anyway, expect more minor tweaking.

Food Parcels

I sort of started a diet last week. This morning in the post came a letter from the British Red Cross. I haven't opened it, but I presume it is the arrangements for them to fly food parcels in to me if I start feeling faint.

God bless 'em!

The future isn't Orange.

Not for me anyway.

I decided to set up a wireless network for our machines at home. It has been a nightmare. And all because of Orange. When Marj set up her ISP accont they gave her the username. There is a problem. It is 36 characters long. Most routers, etc, accept only a maximum of 32 charcters. And Orange won't issue her a new username. They accept the only way to overcome the problem is to cancel the contract and take out a new one. So we are. With someone else!

Now we just have to wait while they drag their heels giving us our MAC code. They say 5-7 days. We'll see. It should have been immediate and were at day three and nothing yet. I feel a complaint coming on. And compensation.

The Ends of the Earth.

Off for a week in Colwyn Bay. Looking forward to any few minutes when it isn't raining.

Day Out

I shall be spending the day at Moda UK watching models parade about in skimpy underwear.

There may be photos!

But not for you lot. You perverts!

The Sound of Music

Well, this is something you don't see too often in Surrey.



We were at an anglo-swiss wedding yesterday. As we arrived at the reception we drank Pimms on the lawn and listened to an Alpenhorn. Pretty certain I've not done that before.

Fame & Fortune

I see I am on the radar of the esteemed London Blogger Diamond Geezer. Hello, if you pass this way.

I'm off knocking doors to try find business. This is the least favourite activity of my life but there's a too good incentive to miss for doing so.

Anyway, it's taking my mind off Barclays Bank who up till a month or so ago were fine but in the last month have gone absolutely down the drain. I shan't rant here though, tempting as it might be. All I will say is that now completes my entire list of high street banks who have broken banking law. What is moes worrying is that the people you talk to don't even know that. Computer says "jump". And they do.

Delusions of Grandeur

I'm not sure who are the most delusional. England fans who though w might win the World Cup or the players in post match conferences talking about how they played.

Matthew Upson missed the best chance of the conference when asked "Where do you go from here?" He failed to say "home".

Other great comments were, the ubiquitous, "We have to take the positives from it". And I think it was John Terry who said he thought "I really don't think we have played as badly in this tournment as people have made out." Cue hysterical laughter!

I have an answer. In future the England team should avoid any Premier League player. We should choose a squad of players who in all honesty never expected to play for the country. Would they win? No, of course not, but then could they be any worse, but what you would get is a squad of players who would really give 110% because it would be the highlight of their careers.

And whilst we're changing things, please stop the players being trained in media relations. I'm sick of, "we have to take the positives from this", "our work rate was really good" and "we all gave 110%".

Maybe now we'll stop treating footballers as demi-gods. Particularly Rooney. Well, that's when anyone discovers where he went missing for the last fortnight.

Time Travels

For those of us Leeds United fans of a certain vintage, Rob Greens' blunder on Saturday took us straight back to the days of Gary Sprake.