Thursday, February 07, 2013

Worth His Weight In Gold

I have found a new mechanic! Hurrah!

For too long I have been without a mechanic for the car. This has forced us either to use a Peugeot Main Dealer. Genuine Parts - Genuinely Frightening Prices or a local garage who you can never quite trust.

The latest saga has been the clutch. The local garage fitted one 18 months ago but in all honestly we were never completely satisfied. I didn't like the position of biting point. Indeed, biting point seemed to be about 1 inch further on than the pedal would go to. Anyway, 10 days ago the clutch decided to give up the ghost. And someone recommended their mechanic. It was a way to go. Over in Chessington which is a bit of a trek, in rush hour, with a car with a dodgy clutch. But it made it and I picked it up tonight. It's gorgeous. A dream to drive. He's done a fantastic job. Technically he's come in £10 under estimate, but whilst he was doing it he decided to replace a blown headlight, topped up with anti-freeze, filled up the oil, and with good stuff, not just Halfords own brand, put air in the tyres and a few other bits and charged just £20 extra so ended up £10 over estimate. I'm not quibbling. It was worth every penny.

I can sleep easy in my bed knowing when the worst comes to the worst he is there ready and waiting.

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

New Old Technology

One of the weirdest things about Everest is that when we sell something, despite the fact that

1) we use laptops at point of sale and could e-mail orders,

2) we have to log in to the company each night to update our machines and send them our days work,

3) they won't pay us any money until they have the actual contract in their hands,

despite these three things, they insist that as soon as we come out of a house with a contract, we have to fax them a copy.

Fax. FAX! Who in God's name still thinks fax is the modern way to transmit information?

So normally we leave a house and start looking for anywhere that might still have fax facilities. There aren't many.

But today I have unleashed a veritable maelstrom of modern technological practices and. by fair means or foul. have complied with their request without coming within 50 paces of a fax machine.

This is the route I took.....

1) Three seperate photo's of the three pages of contract were taken on my mobile phone.

2) These photo's were then sent by bluetooth to my laptop.

3) Having saved them as jpg's they were then inserted into an Open Office document and resixed to fill one page per photo, thus replicating the original A4 paperwork.

4) This new three page document is exported as a pdf file.

5) The pdf is uploaded to an online fax company.

6) The online fax company transmit my pdf as a fax to my business center.

7) A confirmatory email tells me the transmission was successful.

8) A text tells me they have received, read and registered the contract.


Not as simple as just faxing but for the trouble of finding a wifi connection in public it makes for a quicker process, in effect, than travelling back to the 1960's world of technology.

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

The Visitation

We have had a visitor staying with us for the last few days.

It was quite nice to see her - she hasn't lived in London for the last few years, having relocated to LLanelli about 5 years ago.

It was quite nice to meet some of her friends as the shortage of time here meant group meetings rather than visiting each singly.

It was quite nice to hear gossip of her other half, a school friend of mine, who decided not to come down and visit.

But no matter how nice those things were, they are as nothing to the niceness of having our flat back to ourselves again.

And she probably feels the same relief at getting back home again.

Monday, February 04, 2013

Multi Coloured

In two weeks time I'm taking part in a concert. All the songs have to have a colour in the title. You have to wear a shirt of the colour that is in the title of your song.

Am I pleased I chose Orange|

Now I have to find an orange shirt and I don't want to spend £30 as I'm very, very, very unlikely to wear it again. Or I might just dye a white shirt.

God, how I suffer for my art!

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Distortion

The older one gets, the more confusing modern life becomes. Not from the point of view of new technology, which I can handle pretty well, but more in the way of relating to modern society. The adoration of celebrity, the need to change perfectly useable words for something different, either just for the sake of it or to make it simpler to understand and I guess a general detachment from the main body of society. I guess it is a case of life as you get older regressing. I don't think it is anything new to feel that when one gets very old you are regressing back into childhood by needing to be looked after. Maybe I am in the reverse teenage years, feeling as though the world doesn't understand me.

There was a story this week in the papers that typifies this feeling.

Jeremy Kyle, tv presenter, has had cancer. The media could just report it if they really feel they must but as normal it had to be done in such a dramatic way.

Apparently Jeremy suffered a "toxic" tumour. Toxic? Do they mean malignant? Is that just to make a celebrity different from the rest of us? But then there are other references to toxic tumours. So are toxic tumours a dumbing down of malignant tumours? Why if they are the same do we have to change the name? Then, having had his treatment, he has "an agonising wait" to see if he was clear. Compared to what? To mere mortals who just have a slightly uncomfortable wait? A laissez faire attitude to their results?

The media whips up a sense that Jeremy, and I am sure by no means his idea, has suffered more than anyone else. That a celebrity suffers greater and is thus worthy of our sympathy because he is a "celebrity". No doubt a case not so much of "if you prick us do we not bleed" as "if you gouge us do we not hemorrage".

And indeed the media did it's job correctly. I have a friend, (of a friend), who is what might be considered a typical Sun reader and indeed she felt a great wave of sympathy for him. More than she would have for a general member of the public.

Why do our "heroes" have to be celebrities? Why do celebrities have to be nonentities? Why change words that have been perfectly fine for years just for the sake of it.

Anyway, am I just old or is there someting in it?

Saturday, February 02, 2013

The 56 Year Old Virgin

This afternoon I have done something I have never done before. It's not that I've being doing anything wrong. I've just done different variations. As Elmo might say, "Same but Different". Some of my friends have done it, often, but I've been a little bit nervous of it. Still, you're never too old to try something new.

So, I've agreed to take a part in a play where for the first time it's straight acting. In forty years of treading the boards, or squashing them under my bulk to be more accurate, I've done - farce, comedy, pantomime, opera, operetta, musicals, revues and probably more, but not standing on stage and trying to not be an idiot. Unless the part is to play an idiot. Which it isn't. I'm playing a drunk aggressive father. I will be on stage for about two minutes delivering my six lines.

I might play it as dear dear Larry would have done, or then again I might just play it as it comes out of my mouth in the direction I am standing.

It is, however, a new play. I am the first thespian ever to play the role of "dad". Or at least this particular dad. Come March the 24th a grateful audience will be enthralled. entranced and entertained by the eight of us.

Do we have any idea when the nominations for The Baftas close?

Friday, February 01, 2013

And they're off....

No, this isn't an oblique reference to the Tesco horse burger controversy, although there have been some remarkably good jokes surrounding it, but of course this years Blogathon. I think I might be first up.

12 hours later.....

Well, I would have been if I'd posted this when I did my morning routine of going through my blogroll rather than starting to write it when I got in this evening.

Day one and my sneaky plan of pre-writing all 28 posts has not materialised due to my natural ability of not getting round to doing things. (Musn't let M see this otherwise she'll bring up the fact that she is still waiting for the shelf to be put up six years later. I probably blogged about that last Feb when if was only five years). But now I wish I had done them. It is mayhem and madness in the wonderful world of windows as we go into the last few days of the January Sale. So, instead of leaving a nice 3 hour gap between appointments to give each potential customer my full attention and incredibly superb customer service, Head Office are packing in appointments like there's no tomorrow. Today's were at 11:00, 1:00, 2:00 and 4:00. Luckily someone begged me to sign them up so I did.

So, not only am I not first, I'm also not inspired due to being tired. (ooh look, that's two days in a row with rhyming). So you're getting this. Tomorrow will be better. Honest. Probably.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

'Twas The Night Before.....

'Twas the night before Blogathon, when all through the house
Not a reader was scrolling, by touchpad or mouse;
The connections were hung by the networks with care,
In hopes that the bloggers soon would be there;

The readers were nestled on sofas or beds,
While visions of mega-blogs danced in their heads;
And work was forgotten cos work is absurd,
when you need to consider each single typed word,

When out in the ether there arose such a clatter,
as bytes and bits flew through internet matter.
Away on to Windows they flew like a flash,
Opened up weblinks, regardless of cash.

Ipad and tablets were opened and wireless
connections were made, the readers were tireless.
They'd waited a year for their annual fix,
which bloggers would throw themselves into the mix?

Come Brennig, Denise, Kennamatic and Masher,
with work safe post or others more rasher,
with erudite musings on this or on that,
with maybe a picture of kittens or cats.

So whether your new to this Feb Blogathon
as a newbie or old hand, you're welcomed along,
for 28 days we'll keep you amused,
though the writers will end up battered and bruised.

So link to us all and be of good cheer,
and as of tomorrow, mine appears here.



Saturday, January 26, 2013

2013 - Year of the unexpected.

There may be much fodder here for the February Blogathon, or I might just dangle this information here leaving you wanting more. 2013 so far includes...

My father received a call from The Lord Lieutenant of Norfolk inviting him to a Garden Party at Buckingham Palace for his services to Philately. (Who will be the first to say that philately gets you everywhere?).

My ex, Linda, has appeared once already in court to defend herself against the council who are trying to evict her, (she is homeless, living in temporary accomodation), because the Council has charged her with something incorrect and they won't reverse it. In May she returns to court with her solicitor defending her under Article 8 of the European Bill of Human Rights. Let's see how they like that!

I have been approached by the UK's top Moody Blues tribute band to try out as the replacement flautist/backing singer when the present one leaves later this spring.

I've sold some windows already this year! (I realise this is less plausible than the previous events!).

A friend who was an extra in the Les Mis film appears in 8 different sections and is seen both with, and possibly more often than, Russel Crowe.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Out With The Old

And as quickly as possible.

There is much looking backwards and forwards around the blogosphere but so little has happened this year I can't be bothered. In general, 2012 has been crap, finished off by the fact we should be on our way to M's sister for the new year but she rang this morning to say they are all down with flu so we have lost our three day mini break.

Surely 2013 has to be an improvement, he says, knowing that there's every chance it won't be.

Monday, December 24, 2012

And They All Lived Happily Ever After

My stint at Waterstones has ended. 6 weeks of learning about book selling and what happens behind the scenes, Part of that was to work three weeks of night shifts to keep restocking the shelves so they were full for the next day's trade.

It's been rather enjoyable. I was the oldest one there. by some margin, and so I played on that at my expense. And have also made a good friend out of it.

Back to the wonderful world of windows now, except they may be taking on staff for January as well and I've put my name down so we'll see what happens......

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Gas Man Cometh

Eventually.

We have just spent 4 weeks without our boiler.

In October we decided it was time for the boiler to have it's annual service. A little man came round from whoever it is we employ for this purpose and he tested this, that and the other. Then, instead of telling us that all was well he mention ed that the flue was rusting and there was contamination and a slight leak of carbon monoxide. He also discovered that the pipe leading from the meter to the boiler was too narrow, (and also for some reason when the boiler was installed some years back they connected the two via the gas hob?!?! Oh, and the governor needs changing. I understand that is something on the meter not a comment about his boss.

He then proceeded to "cap off" the boiler until the repairs were done, leaving us with no hot water and no heating.

So, M and I spent a week discussing who and how we should get the repairs done. This seemed to revolve greatly around the fact that I'm not earning enough money. Once that discussion was finished we got in touch with M's daughter who works in property maintenance and she organised one of her companies to come round and quote. Excellent, it only took 3 days for them to fit in the 10 minute visit. Then, within only another three days they managed to tell G (M's daughter, [this is getting wuite Bond-like with all these initials]}, that it would cost quite a bit but not more than £500 as they hadn't got a price for the parts yet. So two weeks ago it was decided that yes, it had to be done, get on with it.

In the meantime, because we were diverting the external pipework for the flue in order to comply with building regs we had to get permission from our managing agents. Who didn't reply. So we wrote again. They still didn't reply. So we've told them we are doing it and saving that argument up for a later date.

We prepared for the glorious day of repairs by M taking everything out of the kitchen that might get in the way and blocking up the sitting room and me keeping quiet in case we got round to discussing my income again. Spare keys were left with G so they could pick them up and get in whilst we were at work and we looked forward to having heat and showers once more.

No-one turned up. An "emergency" had occurred. So bad was this emergency that it rendered them unable to ring and mention they wouldn't be arriving. (Full marks however for not going for the tried and tested "the clutch has gone on the van" excuse, much loved by the installers of home improvment products). They didn't turn up the next day, or the one after that. Now they weren't even ringing G back.

To cut a very long story down to only a long story, they turned up on Tuesday evening at 6pm, half an hour before we were going our for the evening. But they had the new flue, and the plume kit, and the extention needed, but they'd forgotten the new pipe for the meter/boiler connection. They'd also forgotten how much they were going to charge but it wasn't a problem as they'd emailed G with a price. Except apparently they had forgotten that too as she has never received it. They did however do enough to turn the boiler back on again!

Still, never mind as they now appear to have forgotten to come and get their money last night.

We have learnt three things from this experience.

1) M's grandfather lived in a croft in the Scottish Highlands and never had running hot water in his life. We would not have survived!

2) You know when you eat ice cream and it gives you a head ache that starts at the back of your nasal cavity? If you wash your hair with the shower when you only have freezing cold water you can recreate the aformentioned pain but centered on the top of your neck.

3) Apparently I haven't earnt enough money recently.

Bloody Technology

I've just typed a long post on the trials and tribulations of spending a month without hot water and heating and the computer has deleted it. Pretend you've read it, sympathise, mutter about bloody workmen these days, and be pleased that all is now well.

Right, I'm off to mess around with shelfloads of books again.

Good News. I found it!

Thursday, November 08, 2012

Christmas Booking

So, The Wonderful World of Windows is proving to be a charity as I seem to be doing a great deal of working for no financial return. This being the case, and with the impetus of The Magnificent M using "a recurring loud voice to my ear interface", I have decided to get a part time job in the run up to Christmas.

Having perused various job sites I applied to a well known book purveyor and blow me down with a flapping dust cover, they decided they wanted me.

So, come Monday I will be Bookseller To The Gentry at Kingston. Or Richmond.....Chiswick.......Twickenham........Teddington, wherever they want to send me.

It feels like I'm turning over a new leaf.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Yeoman On Call

Not much blogging going on because it's performance week. How this show has ever got on stage amazes me but we are there and last nights audience enjoyed it.

Not much dieting going on because it's performance week. Eating both regularly and eating healthily is too much during this week but then there's a lot of nervous energy expended.

Not much sleep going on because it's performance week. Takes a couple of hours to come down after the performance but there's still work in the morning. Roll on Saturday for a lie-in.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Stones and Glasshouses

Following on from the previous post, I have just heard a well known television personality laying in to Jimmy Saville. Obviously there wasn't the time during their interview to mention the time they tried to defraud the insurance company I worked for with a false claim, and then, when they were told they weren't going to get away with it, threatened to drag us on to a well known consumer programme to teach us a lesson!

Those Who Live By The Sword....

This could have been a long post on the double standards of those who are wading in to the Saville story and all the satellite threads about times past and the fact they obviously feel they live the perfect life in perfect times. They should just remember that in 40 years time people will look back at this period and rip it's morals apart just as easily fro wherever there viewpoint is.

Shrinking

So, that's the first stone gone. The bigger psychological boost comes in 4 pounds time as the weight in stones dips into the 16s. There will then be a real battle on as I consider that s quite a success even though it isn't really.

I've joined the gym as well. I don't mind gyms, I quite like them, much more so than trying to run round the streets or other exercise. I didn't do myself any favours when I did my assessment as my triceps appear to have been brutally beaten by iron bars and put through a mangle. Or maybe it's just that I never use them. As long as I get a reasonable level of fitness and it helps with the weight loss it will be deemed a success. The dreams of a six-pack are long gone and based on the operations of a couple of years back I should imagine the muscle damage would preclude it anyway. I shall have to rely on my natural charm and wit to attract the ladies. (When the Magnificent M isn't watching).

Onwards and Downwards!

Saturday, September 08, 2012

Weird World

Today I pressed the wrong button.

I was messing around with the side bar, you will see the new weight loss button, there so I can hopefully get prodded when it starts going back towards zero pounds lost!

And so I inserted the html. Threw in a bit more code. Went mad with br tags.

Then I pressed a button.

Next thing I knew I had a new template, different layout, half my personalised sections had disappeared.

New additions were everything in the world to do with Google!

Worked out how to get the old template back.

Good!