Blogging Up The Works

Monday, February 27, 2006

Soda Crystals - You lucky people

Now why should I write chapter and verse when the manufacturer has done it for me!

The information I need to impart is that we halve the amount of powder or tablets we use oer wash and add about 90grams of crystals. Although they tell you to put them in the drum we use the drawer as it helps keep the amount of limescale down. We don't use any of their other products.

If it was good enough for your granny or great granny it's good enough for you!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Soda Crystals - The Preview

Millions of people throughout the blogasphere are clammering for the ins and outs of soda crystals. I shall be posting valuable information in the next few days. Please continue to breathe during your wait and anyone who faints from the excitement must see a doctor immediately.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

How cold is cold?

Well, it feels a bit nippy outside. According to the weather this morning it is just over freezing point except for the wind chill which then makes it minus 2 degrees. What I want to know is, what is the temperature taking into account the standard wind chill plus that generated by the idiot cycling headfirst into it on his bike.

I suspect about -50 if my ears, hands and nether regions have anything to say about it.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Follow The Green Tarmac Road

Why is it that there seems to be a fascination amongst pedestrians for walking on cycle routes.

The A4 Great West Road has a really nice stretch of cycle path away from the road with a good surface. The pavement is also pretty new, in good repair, and not many pedestrians. Still, however, they are attracted to the green trackway with cycles painted on it.

Eventually I'll probably run someone over, although it will hardly register as I hurtle into them at approximately 1 mph. However, in the traditoin of farmers across the country might I just say

GET ORF MY LAND!

Snooker World Cahmpion

I recently purchased Steve Davis Snooker on my mobile phone. I am now ranked number 1 having beaten him in a tense one frame final. No prize money has been forwarded. I think that is particularly shoddy as I was just about to give up my job and live on my winnings. Another dream dashed.

Deepest Darkest Sussex.

Last Wednesday I visited the ancient world of Grayboland. i.e. Chichester.

The supposed reason was to watch Marjs' daughter Rachel playing rugby for Brunel University W.R.C. against Sussex Uni, but of course my real reason was to see how many statues of the aforementioned G have been erected since his departure.

Apparently it is none!

What is the world coming to.

Two other bits of information. One, they drew 5-5 which is a shame because that meant Sussex get promoted on some sort of countback system whilst the Mighty Bru, (I'm in the swing of it already!), finished second. Two, I went past Mr S's old house and discovered that the new owners have changed all the windows and not with me!!!!! I did what any self respecting dou ble glazing salesman does in times like this. I threw a brick through their windows and shouted "you smell too!", through their letterbox. (Not really, but I did curse them with the misting up of their sealed units at their earliest convenience. That'll teach 'em!)

Missing, Presumed Stupid

Sorry for the sudden hiatus but Marj's computer won't log on, couldn't get to the library and then we went away for the weekend to visit my dad and stepmum in the Norfolk Broads.

Even I wouldn't change my mind about blogging again that quickly!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

You know you're old when......

......Just as your teenage kids are getting ready to go out for the night, you're getting ready to go to bed.

Lets Get Quizzical

In a fortnights time, Marj and I are going to be running a quiz. Running and compiling.

The mark of a good quiz question is where everybody knows the answer but can't quite remember it.

What's your favourite quiz question? (And yes, I may well nick it!).

Thursday, February 09, 2006

On Yer Bike

I've now been without a car for a month. That's me, the man who can't normally last 24 hours without the smell of petroleum in his nostrils. Unbelievably, I'm not missing it. Well not too much and certainly nowhere near as much as I thought I would.

This must be due to the bike which still allows me to be mobile. So I surmise it's not the car but mobility and the chance to travel that is my "driving" force. Typical Sagittarian.

The benefits are;

  • I've not yet had a cold. No doubt due to the fact that cold germs perish when icy winds are chilling your body to sub-zero temperatures as you glide along.


  • I'm definitely fitter, measurable both by how long I can cycle without requiring pure oxygen and also that I now use a higher gear, or is it lower?, whichever means your fitter anyway.


  • Having lost about 3 stone in the last year it is helping tone up a few of the more flabbier places!


  • Being able to get from home into Ealing Broadway, about 2 miles, quicker than I ever could in the car. And you don't have to hunt high and low for a parking space.


  • The downsides are;

  • Reaching 11 o'clock at night and then having to drag your sorry ass onto the bike to pedal home.


  • Thigh muscles that sometime feel tighter than Yehudi Menhuins violin strings.


  • Saddles. They are not, even as a gel variety, anything like an armchair.


  • The cost of batteries to keep the lights working.


I have every intention of trying to keep the cycling up even when I do have the car back, although I suspect the journeys that require a late evening return will be the first to go. And then probably followed by the rest. However, if I am going to attempt the mad bike ride of my previous post, I'm going to have to keep cycling just as training.

Without tempting fate, I have so far managed not to come a cropper at any point, but I can't imagine that will last. So if any of you are travelling in West London and see some poor out of breath idiot wobbling like a jelly on an orange bike either give me a wide berth or offer me a lift!!!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Cycle of Life

Following the triumph of my epic bike ride from London to the South Coast my erstwhile cycling partner, "Zulu" Loosley, has proposed London to the West Coast as this years merry jaunt. That will be the Thames followed by the Kennet and Avon. And supposedly just the odd 130 miles or so.

I may have to let the air out of his tyres.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Not what it seems.

I went to Princes Risborough yesterday.

I didn't see any Princes and certainly no Risboroughs.

For Whose Benefit. (Rant Warning)

There have been lots of stories in the papers about the Governments intended reforms of Incapacity benefit, and even programmes on television about benefit cheats. The biggest question for me is how the hell do they get on benefit in the first place. Cos I certainly can't!

Over the last few months I have convinced Linda she needs to get benefits and backed by the doctor we are making the applications. These started last Novemeber. We are little forward. Meanwhile, during that period I too have had odd weeks when I've needed to claim Income Support. Not managed it yet.

I'm not going into the precise circumstances because I don't wish to but I can tell you it is proving to be a nightmare. On one of the programmes that has been on recently, a woman with a seriously autistic child was trying to claim carers allowance. Her husband used to get it but when he died she was told she couldn't claim as a widow. So for the last 12 years she has had to struggle on. The poor woman is obviously suffering, the staff have seen the boy as she has to drag him round with her. It's obvious she is entitled. Bloody obvious! But no, not to the Benefits Agency.

Before people start saying that if it wasn't for the scroungers then we would get our benefits then that's not the point. We don't get told we're due them but there's no money, we just don't seem to get any further forward. They can't even decide, as a director of a company, whether I'm an employee or self-employed. It basically depends on who answers the phone on what day.

The staff must be harrassed. I'm pretty even tempered but even I get stressed talking to some of them. Then again I have spoken to some really helpful people there as well. It's a pity it's luck of the draw who you get.

Whether we get anything in the long term God alone knows, or any of the cases who don't get it but should. Eventually the stress of it will be too much for Linda and that will be that, she'll withdraw the application. Still, at least that way we'll have saved the government some money so that's alright then.

I Sayer, I Sayer, I Sayer

Good Lord, Leo Sayer looks like he might have another number 1 single. That'll take some of us back!

I saw him right at the start of his career when he was way down the bill at "The Crystal Palace Garden Party", an outdoor concert starring Rick Wakeman performing Journey To The Centre of the Earth. Leo was in his Pierrot pariod and was togged up acordingly. Girls swooned and fell of their platform shoes. Probably some blokes did as well.

There's no accounting for tastes.

Which of course bring us back to the possibility of Leo Sayer having another number 1.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Horrendous Hotmail

O.K. If you could plumb the depths of your memory banks for me I have a query.

A friend can get into their hotmail account from any computer they try except their own. When they log in they invariably get the standard "the site may be down, etc". They can't get onto the page to register for a new address either so there must be something wrong on their computer. I don't know what it is though. It will be obvious. You will know it. I'll feel an eejit for not knowing. I will however get Brownie points.

C'mon, cough up the info!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Now you see them. now you don't.

Lyle talks about voiceovers.

For me the most annoying thing is the need for all television companies to squash the credits of the programme you have just been watching to a size where an ant walking across the screen obliterates the entire lot whilst they promote the programme coming up next after the following three adverts.

Having watched a film or drama, wondering who a particular actor was, I really would like to check his name in the credits. Also I knew a set construction manager when I worked with his wife many years back and I like to see if a particular set is one of his. Not a hope. Even if you place your eyes 2 cms from the screen the writing is too pixellated to make any sense of it.

Would it be too much to allow the names of those who have worked incredibly hard to bring us our film or televisual entertainment their proper recognition? I really don't need to know that any moment now I might get the chance to watch "When Librarians go Wild" or "Post Office Counter Clerk from Hell".

Ooh, it's nice to be back and ranting again!

Two Wheels on my Wagon

As mentioned previously, I have taken to the bicycle as my main mode of transport at the moment. This model actually.

I have always hated every minute previously when I have been car-less but I must admit, although it is sometimes a bit inconvenient if I need to be somewhere fast, I'm actually not missing the car too much.

I'm not the worlds quickest cyclist, averaging about 11-12 mph, but it gets me there. It's also getting me fitter. I've steadily been losing weight for the last few months but the cycling is helping that along and generally toning up various bits of body. It's also squashing other bits but we'll not go into that here!

I've also managed to get two flat tyres in the last few weeks and it's not as annoying as changing a tyre on a car.

One of the other noticeable things is how much money I seem to have without pouring fuel into the motor. Probably a good £40 a week or more. That's quite a bit in my present pecuniary state.

Fitness, healthy bank balance, the chance to ring a bell when you approach pedestrians, what would it take to get you back on a bike these days?

How lucky can you get?

Well, I've got mine, have you got yours?

I think there's a 1 in 76,000,000 chance of getting the numbers up. Between me and Marj we have 4 chances. Our odds are thus slashed to only 1 in 19,000.000. That's only 33% worse odds than on the normal lottery which I've successfully failed to win every week since it started.

I reckon it's a dead cert. If I win it's drinks round my place. Although whether that place is in The Caribbean, Europe, America I have yet to decide.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

The Return of Kennamatic

Hello again all.

I couldn't keep away.

Blogging eh! Can't live with it, can't live without it.

All the necessary infrastructure such as links and comments will be in place over the next few days.

For those who knew my previous incarnation little has changed, certainly not the income side of things, although due to my car becoming Kaput I am now cycling 20 miles a day!

Anyway, expect moe of the same old rubbish you were used to before, or who knows, perhaps a new age of enlightenment is about to dawn where the very erudition of my posting brings blogging onto a whole new level!

Dont hold your breath!!!!!