Sunday, July 29, 2007

Missing in Action.

Hello. I haven't been around much lately. Here's why, written mainly for my benefit to look back on later, but for your reading as well should you wish.

After a long fight we finally lost the flat. Having spent 5 days packing with only 8 hours sleep during those days we are now in a new flat which Linda hates with a vengence.

During those days and up to and including today I have seen little of Marj which is putting stress on that relationship.

I am extremely depressed. Probably even more so than when I first started blogging. It was my mates breakdown that caused that depression, not the blogging!

I can no longer look after Linda single handedly and will see my doctor to get some help though Linda is fighting tooth and nail against that idea. She also wants to move as fast as possible.

I need to have a quiet time but don't see how I can get it. There are days when Linda talked of suicide and I would have helped her. There are days when I have thought about it but I couldn't do that to my mum. I worry if the strain keeps building that I might find a way to "help" Linda commit suicide. I am hopeful of seeing my own doctor tomorrow and hope she can be of some help. though in reality I don't know what she can do. Mental Health care in West London is very poor.

I feel trapped, mainly by my emotions. The stark truth is there will probably have to be a choice.

1) Leave Linda and be with Marj so I can live a normal life but find some way to deal with the tremendous guilt I will feel as she has no family of friends to support her.

2) Lose Marj and stay with Linda. I will be left getting worse myself to the point where I probably will take some conclusive action to stop the emotional pain.

3) Try to juggle both as I have for the last two years but with the move that has become unrealistic and was probably so long term anyway.

If someone has a magic wand could they lend it to me please.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Talent, What Talent?

So, todays excuse of why Lewis Hamilton is winning is because the new tyres help him!

Yes, Mark Webber, the well known well down the field Australian Formula 1 driver has revealed how everyone but Lewis has been neld back because the make of tyre has changed. Well, isn't it lucky that Lewis Hamilton had never driven a formula 1 car before. He must have just got in on the first day of racing this year and with his complete lack of skill, training and practice has been swept to the top of the drivers championship, breaking various records on the way, by the new tyres.

That's of course when McLaren aren't giving him a much bigger hand than they give Alonso. According to Alonso.

From Lewis's point of view though this must be good news. If the opposition are scraping the barrel to explain his runaway success this year they must be worried.

Twenty Twenty Vision

I got somewhat confused when lietening to a radio report this morning.

It went like this;

"The EWCB have extended Allan Donalds contract to coach Englands fast bowlers until the 2020 World Cup....."

Blimey, I though, that's some extention. It continued,

"in September"

Ah, that would be the Twenty20 World Cup then.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics

We have a by-election coming up as our local MP has shuffled off to the great debating chamber in the sky. We are starting to get election literature through. Today, the Liberals show a previous election result that shows them as the only credible alternative to Labout and the Tories have a graphic which shows a previous result where they are the only serious opposition.

Sort it out guys. No-ones going to vote for parties who massage the message. That's why we have Labour.

Some Young Beat Combo

I seem to be particularly obsessed with listening to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. I must find out whether the rest of their stuff is as good as that.