Junior Choice.

The Magnificent M and I have spent the last hour trying to find the next couple of things to show her music loving class. They are seven.

Previous favourites have included;

Queen of the Night Aria from The Magic Flute.
The Rite of Spring - Stravinski
Chattanooga Choo Choo - Glenn Miller
The Dying Swan - Whatever ballet, not my thing.

We were thinking something by the Pasadena Roof Orchestra
Some tap dancing by The Nicholas Brothers
Tubby the Tuba
The well known bits of Riverdance.

Any suggestions? Always best when it has film with it. They thought the dancing to Chatanooga was fascinating.

The London Highway Code

PEDESTRIANS

It is no longer required that you look in either direction when crossing the road.

Under no circumstance should you hurry to cross the road.

If you should inadvertently catch the eye of an approaching car's driver make eye contact and look quizzically at them. Then, without speeding up, carry on sauntering across the road at a leisurely pace. If you were crossing at a diagonal angle please do not veer onto a straight course.

CYCLISTS

It is a requirement that you use lights. Preferably dotted at various points around your body and the bike. It would be better if they were both a variety of colours and flashing.

Should you decide for some obscure reason you wish to wear a helmet, please make sure it incorporates a camera stuck on with duck tape. It is certainly important that you have video evidence of any car who deigns to go through a green light whilst you have right of way passing through a red light. It is important that you take the opportunity to mark the offending car by hitting the bodywork and shouting "Tosser" at the driver regardless of sex, colour or creed.

On major trunk roads where a dedicated cycle lane has been provided please ignore it as this is for old people, losers and children. You can stick to the trunk road because you are awesome and so much better than them.

Always wear clothing that blends in with the prevailing light conditions.

MOTORCYCLISTS

We have updated the rules regarding "filtering". You are now able to undertake, overtake and weave in and out of traffic at will. Cars are restricted to using only the left hand side of the road but motorcyclists are exempt.

If for any reason you feel you may be about to be involved in an accident because you have misjudged your route whilst going 80mph in a 30mph zone, try to veer into a bus lane and hit a car turning left proving they weren't paying attention and endangering your life.

MOTORISTS

You are to blame. Whatever happens. You are to blame.

But it isn't all bad news. We have introduced a new game to improve your reflexes whilst driving. When at traffic lights there is a prize for the first motorist to hoot their horn as the lights go green. If you are new to this game we suggest you check the lights that have a countdown on them. This should help you co-ordinate your attack. The present record for a London driver is 0.00000001 nano-seconds.

If you find yourself held up by a motorist who has selfishly blocked your progress for half a second you are required to drive alongside them, block the entire road for five minutes whilst shouting at them as to why they have wasted your time when you are in an incredible hurry.

Special rule for Mercedes Benz and BMW drivers. We have reserved your right to park in spaces that other drivers foolishly think are for disabled drivers. Idiots. We know they are for you because you are elite and above everyone else.

Passing the Time

I go through phases of what will entertain me during the hours that I really can't be bothered to do anything else. Once upon a time it was crosswords, and then the same sort of thing but with clues leading to numbers for the grid. IN more odern times it was Suduko, then I had a longish affair with Nonograms but for the last couple of months it has been Mathdoku, a sort of Suduko Plus.

The easy ones take a couple of minutes, the harder ones can take a number of attempts before I get them right and can fill in quarter of an hour and a lot of swearing under the breath.

It seems much too easy to sit here tapping away doing one of these than reading a book or possibly even blogging, which may explain the dearth of posts.

It'll pass soon no doubt, I'll get bored with them, and then I'll have to mpve on to something else.

Any suggestions?

Playing God one way or another.

So, tonight the House of Commons has voted to allow three parent babies. The chance to change the genetics of a child to make sure they are free of certain genetic illnesses/diseases.

I am always interested in these medical advances. As we know, I am indeed related to a potato genetically or at least chromosonically(?). Part of my Kleinfelters Syndrome is that I can't have kids, and even though it is only on the last few years that has been medically confirmed I have "known" this all my life. To me I could cut that cake in one of two ways, either God has decided I wasn't to procreate or, through natural selection, I was not chosen to continue my line as I would weaken further the stock. Whichever, the result was the same. And I have been content with my lot. Never have I considered using medicine to overturn the Will of God nor to disobey the laws of natural selection. But today's vote opens up a new "choice.

When I was born, nobody had heard of Kleinfelter as he didn't discover the syndrome until the 1980s. Even as recently as 2010, when I was treated for the Sertoli Cell tumour they had no idea that was linked to Kleinfelters. If my mum became pregnant today, and no-one would be more surprised than her as she's 83 but stick with this, they could test for it. And one must suppose that if she wanted a planned pregnancy, with a little help from a second female, all the problems I have had in my life medically, could be swept away. So tonight, instead of wondering whether such a thing would ever be possible, it now is. And if I could advise my mum as to what to do...........

Keep me as I am. I would rather be this me than the other one.

One of the big arguments of the pro camp is that it does nothing to change the personality. But of course it does. Not by nature but by nurture. I am who I am because of the things that shape me. And then they always thinks the "improved" child will have a better life. But that's the same thinking that says if you hadn't given away that penalty in the first half you wouldn't have lost. But all it means is it would be different, not necessarily better.

So, I can't help but feel this is a retrograde move. But of course, I might feel differently if it was going to be my child and something way more serious than being a bit of a potato.

The Great Adventure

So, three posts back, or four months ago if you'd rather, I teased you with "some potentially exciting news". Since then it has seemed likely on some days and unlikely on others. Indeed, if I had posted this yesterday I would have said it was unlikely yet today it has suddenly moved forward.

So here we go.

There is a possibility that we are going to up sticks and move to the South of France within the next few weeks or months. About 10 minutes outside Limoux,some 20 minutes from Carcassonne. The story of how this came about will be for another day but maybe I'll finish my working life there instead of overcrowded London.

So instead of spending my evenings in front of the tele I might spend it in the pool.

Or if I can't walk as far as that, maybe a glass of wine on the terrace under the vines.

So, for the sum of £195,000.00, we will take over a property management company and purchase the owners house.




That's the 6 bedroom house where the shutters are, plus the wide building to the left which will convert into another 6 bed house, or separate appartments.

And all funded by a 2 bedroom flat in Isleworth leaving a £100k spending money.That's how ridiculous London prices are, or maybe French prices.

So the flat is on the market and if we can sell it in the next few weeks we go, if not, we probably won't. It's in the lap of the Gods. And our estate agent.

Another February, Another Blogathon.

Hurrah, it is that time of year when some of us put ourselves through the stress of trying to write something every day. And already I am up against it as I wake to find I have man flu. Having had a sore throat for two days and I now have a bit of a cough as well. My voice has gone down about seven octaves to make Barry White sound like a castrati which I am using to good effect by lying about on the settee moaning in a deep and sexy sort of a growl. However, The Magnificent M appears to be inured to it and is refusing to cook me a full english. How I suffer!

So the good news is that the post I would have posted today can be used tomorrow, so now I can go back to moaning loudly in the hope that I might get a decent lunch. Or maybe a roast for tea. Or possibly just a raised eyebrow and a look to me that says, yeah, like that's going to happen.

Horrendous Hiatus

Gosh. Four months since I posted. That must be a record. Even when I gave up blogging I don't think I managed 4 months. However, we know what is coming up shortly. And before Masher poses the question, in the words of TVs Dragons - I'm In!

Visiting The Past

I have some potentially exciting news. But you can wait for that. Instead, today you can have this.

Later today I will be doing something I haven't done, I think, for 46 years. It coincides with something I haven't done for I think about 30 years, and lastly, another event from maybe 35 years ago.

How do all these things come up on one day. Because a very rare alignment has taken place for the first time in over 60 years.

Because this afternoon I will visit Griffin Park to see Brentford vs Leeds United. The first time they have played against each other in my lifetime.

The last time I saw Brentford was against Watford at Wembley in about 1985. They lost.

The last time I went to Griffin Park I was in my teens And Ollie Mansley and John O'Mara were paying.

The last time I watched Leeds live it was the classic team of Sprake, Reaney, Madeley, Bremner, Charlton, Hunter, Lorimer, Clarke, Jones, Giles and Gray. I think I was 11, maybe 12. These were the days when they still had leather footballs. Pitches in the winter would be mudbaths. Forwards learnt how to ride tackles and if they ended up on the ground they got up quick to a) prove they weren't hurt and b) to carry on trying to get the ball in the net. Not for these men the idea of writhing in agony because someone came within 20 yards and gave them a harsh look.

Now, were did I put my Leeds scarf, bobble hat and rattle!

Blind Panic

I do wish Diamond Geezer would give a warning when he is going to do his annual mention to all of us who have him on their blogroll. If he had I could have posted something arty or highbrow and made sure I posted regularly. Instead I feel like you've all walked into the room and me just in my underwear. (Sorry to those having breakfast for that visualisation). So thanks for dropping by but I suspect there are others who will hold your interest further down the list.

My Old Dutch

"We've been together now for forty years" as the old music hall song says. Although, in this case, it's not the Magnificent M with whom I reach 10 years next June 1st, but the world of work.

40 years today I was gainfully employed by Nat West Bank in Margaret Street just off Oxford Street. The branch is no longer there although I occasionally walk past the building and memories of the people I worked with come back. Although today was my official anniversary I didn't actually turn up for three days as I was ill with nerves. Every time I went to get the tube into London I just felt sick. In the end, on day three, my dad paid for me to go by taxi. My first month's wage was £75.00. Rich beyond my wildest dreams. I gave my mother £25.00 and the other £50 went on fares, lunches, booze, clothes, a Donovan LP but as far as I can work out, no women.

But that isn't the only 40th anniversary this month. I can't remember the exact date in July but 40 years ago this month I passed my driving test. I took an online theory test and "recognise the traffic signs" quiz yesterday and was pleased, although I didn't get 100%, I got in the 90%s for both. I suspect that's better than most of the people on the road at the moment if the last couple of days is anything to go by. Petrol was under £1 per gallon. My first car was a C reg Austin 1100. There was room under the bonnet for a couple of passengers, not like engines today where you lift the bonnet and are confronted with a large flat plate of metal. You could change the spark plugs easily where now the engine block has to come out at great expense, or it does whenever mine needs a service. And to celebrate I have a new car. New to me, but 14 years old to the world. A Citroen Xsara Picasso. It's known as the doggy car at home as the previous owner had a number of dogs, the smell of which is lingering despite a deep clean. But for £400 on ebay it's a bargain. Perfect for carrying my Everest Kit and on the motorway can do over 800 miles to the tank of diesel. Hmmm. I feel a list coming on....

Socksed Up

I am obsessed. Obsessed with socks. But not just any socks. M&S socks. But not just any M&S socks. The plain ones. In their lovely colour coded packs of 7. I probably already have 40 pairs and I noticed new lots in this week. 6 sets. That's another 42 pairs. Including a limeish green one. and some rather fine purple ones. Actually, there's only 5 lots to get because I bought the ones with the green in them.

I just can't get enough socks! (fnarr fnarr)

Un petit coin de paradis

We rarely head up into town. It all seems too much trouble with the crowds, the travel, be it by tube train or road. We sometimes go to the Southbank which is easy to get to for us and we usually go if there are any free concerts. We sometimes do a quick dash to Chappels to buy music, early on a Saturday, when there is little traffic. But now we have another destination.

Thursday was the Magnificent M's birthday. A friend had bought tickets for Phantom of the Opera so we headed in after work and looked for somewhere to eat. Everywhere seemed to be full with a waiting time for tables and we only had just over half an hour. Just as we thought it might have to be McD on the hoof I turned and saw a small french restaurant. The menu in the window looked good and a reasonable price. They asked if we'd booked but the manager gave the girl a table number and I explained we wouldn't be long.

O! M! G! as those younger than me by a generation might say. If they had picked the place up from Bedarieux and dropped it there it couldn't have been more French. The dishes on the menu are properly French and are executed in a French style. Or at least the ones we had were. M & I had the Warm Chicken Liver Salad and our friend has Duck with Peach. The only problem was we couldn't do it justice because we had to rush.

The only thing that stops it being completely authentic is that although they bring you water as you want it you don't get bread automatically. And the wine is a bit expensive compared to France but the food and wine is good value for Central London.

The restaurant in question is Le Troisiemeon Panton Street off Haymarket.

If you like French food, cooked in a French style in a typical French Restaurant then get yourself down there. But make sure you do the meal justice by allowing plenty of dining time!

Life, Death and The Wild West

It lives, Igor!

So, contrary to public rumour I haven't won the euromillions and swanned off to sunnier climes, much as I wish it were true. I have been swanning. Sort of. In the way that they look serene above the water and are going hell for leather beneath.

As we all know, I am doing the two jobs which are both going apace and would keep me busy at the best of times. However, for the last few months, and culminating in the second week of March, I was directing and performing in, having previously written and devised, a Wild West Revue show. This had the effect of making sure I had to fit in about 20 hours of work on it a week into the two hours I seemed to have left when not working. Now it's all over I have to say it went damned well, though I say so who shouldn't, and I'll probably start on next years shortly so it isn't such a rush come next year.

So then, having got more commitments than a bishop at Easter, my father decided to pop his clogs mid-Feb. My step-sisters came flying in from The States, which was nice cos I haven't seen them for ages, if not aeons, but meant, with a three week window, we had to get him cremated, sort out the house and then scatter his ashes. So in 20 days I had two trips to Norfolk and one to Yorkshire. Which took up three weekends and quite a few midweek days, just in front of the show.

At the end of all that I was suffering from a medical condition known as "knackered". However, I'm now back to just doing the two jobs and seem to have all the time in the world. Don't know why I wasn't coping with it before!

Missing In Action

Hello.

I've been missing but for a reason, not just cos I was being lazy. More when I get the chance.

But in the meantime, look at this property and the price. There isn't a 3 bed house anywhere near here that doesn't cover the cost of buying this place in the South of France. It's in a damn good location as well.

Click Here

Abandoned

The Magnificent M has gone on a school trip leaving me to fend for myself. I am doing well, I have not starved, set the flat on fire, run amok with the hoover or had any other mishap. The only thing I have to remember is to make sure the flat is tidy when she gets back.

But I don't half miss her. It's rare for me to be here on my own and there is some enjoyment in being able to do whatever I want when I want (Who was that sniggering at the back?!) but the place seems very empty.

I think I've got the better half of the deal though. M is trying to keep twenty seven 10 year olds entertained. Not on her own obviously but it won't exactly be a relaxing break.

She's back Friday, I don't know who'll be more relieved. Her to be rid of the kids, or me to get her back.

New Year-Same Old Me

I didn't bother doing much reflection on the year past and the year to come last week but we were with M's sister and partner over New Year and he asked the question - What do you want to do more of and what do you want to do less of this coming year. The obvious answer aside, work less, earn more, I discovered I don't actually know. I don't appear to have any goals. Not ones I've set myself. It may be because basically I'm too tired to think much beyond the next five minutes. But I always used to have a one year, five year and ten year plan. Maybe as you get older, and as I hurtle in towards 60, the plan is just to keep breathing. I don't know.

I want to go to France again on holiday this year. I want to live in France at some point in the future. I'd like to think I won't have to work for evermore until I drop. But these seem more like hopes than plans.

There is one thing I need to do and must apply myself to and that is losing weight again. I had lost about 24 pounds from my heaviest but I seem to have regained 14 of them, two in the last week. So I need to lose 15lb to get back into gear and feel a bit healthier. I'm glad I kept the weight loss widget in the side bar. I feel better knowing I am 10lbs lighter than this time last year rather than thinking I am 14lb heavier than I was at my recent lightest. I just feel I need to get back on track rather than see it as some sort of failure. Although I am not sure the five boxes of chocolates sat on the sitting room table are going to help in the endeavour.

I am reminded of one of my ex managers who often quoted the maxim - If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Then again, a lot of what he said was bollocks so I'm not sure it is right. I think it's more about if you don't have a map of where you are going you are likely to end up somewhere else. Maybe I have lost the art of map reading and started to rely too heavily on a life sat nav which just leads me somewhere using other people's voices.

They Think It's All Over...

So, that's another Christmas Day over. Off to brothers tomorrow and then away for the New Year. The rest from work has been nice. One of the reasons for so little posting, i.e. none, is that I am doing two jobs. It's been a bit manic but not as bad as January will be when the Everest Sale starts.

Don't expect much news!

Seven Year Itch

They always say that your life runs in seven year cycles. My present one runs out in just under a month.

This last seven years could be categorised as "upheaval". At the beginning I was still living at the flat I had moved into when I was a teenager, with Linda, knew M socially and had my own business. By the end I have lost the flat, lost the business, split from Linda, live with M and I'm back with Everest. During the interim I hate to think how many anti-depressants I have taken, although not more than the prescribed dose and actually somewhat less. Much of the problems have been caused really via Linda who has had all the problems with being classed as homeless and then having to fight the Council and I feel duty bound to give her my support as without me she has no-one although it's a situation that cannot go on for ever.

I'm hoping for a more settled next section. And in the last 48 hours various pointers have popped up to show the way. Not the move to France which I think in all reality will happen in the section after this. Firstly, on Friday, there were the first indications that Linda will have a permanent home offer this week. She'll no doubt find every excuse not to want it but in the end she might not have a choice. And then last night I was offered some part time work for three days a week which would guarantee some income whilst still allow me to carry on working for Everest if I want. It's in the property world which I've fancied a move into and I'm quite excited by the thought. If Linda is settled in a place it makes it a lot easier. M will also be pleased knowing there is a set income about and if that takes pressure off of her it's worth it as she deserves something in return for having me in her life and the stress I've undoubtedly brought her.

It doesn't feel quite like there is a door to walk through as things will happen outside my control but hopefully it will be less like a runaway train than normal.

I'm hoping this next seven years is "progress".

Pluses and Minuses

I've been meaning to post about the teachers strike for a bit as, and this will come as no surprise, the Government are being disingenuous about the way teachers are "fighting against performance related pay".

Most teachers would be quite happy to have performance related pay. If for no other reason than it would show how the standard of teacher training has dropped in the Governments rush to get more teachers and also to be fair the general standard of education of people in their 20s and early 30s, who were "experimented" on with the idea that grammar wasn't important and now, as they qualify as teachers don't know the grammar they have to teach. Anyway, I'm already digressing.

The way the Government think related pay should work is that a teacher should get 93% of their pupils to a certain standard by a certain age or they can be deemed to be "failing". Whilst an admirable ideal, and probably very relevant in the Shires, for many class teachers this will prove impossible, and not because they are poor teachers. It has been policy for some time that children with learning difficulties should be kept in mainstream education. This is a good idea and helps a child develop to their full potential when they are borderline. M's school for instance has a number of children with learning difficulties and also a couple of children with Downs Syndrome. With the extra 1 on 1 tuition and support they receive they are coming along very well and will probably reach their full potential, which is surely a success. Except for performance related pay. A Downs Syndrome child will never hit the levels required by the relevant age. It's not possible. Not for the child, it's parents or the teacher. Allowing for a class of 30 children, you only need three children who have special needs and, no matter how well a teacher does at bringing them forward, and in getting the rest of the class to the right level, they can only hit 90% success. And the Government will not accept that a class with special needs children in it is an exception.

So what do we do?

Do we go back to a time when special needs children all have to go to special schools and be marginalised or do we do what the teachers want which is to rate teachers performance on how much improvement a child makes from their base start line to assessment time.

It's just lucky for politicians they don't have performance related pay but instead have an independent body that always manages to work out how MP's are a special case that should receive higher than average pay rises. Every year.

Planning the Future

Last Sunday we went to the French Property Exhibition. It did nothing to make us think we were on the wrong track. We had a chat with some estate agents, solicitors and mortgage companies. It was a good start to finding out a little about the logistics of moving and getting set up.

We are considering a number of choices;

Buy a holiday home which we can use and rent out when we aren't.
Buy somewhere to live and move out lock, stock and barrel, possibly renting out a couple of rooms on a B&B basis.
Buy somewhere to live and move out lock, stock and barrel with attached gite(s) to provide rental income
Buy an up and running business and start a new life.

The first three have been on the cards for a time but the latter has popped up because the place we stay at in Thezan Les Bezier is likely to be up for sale next year. It's tempting. Very tempting. We don't know yet what they will be looking for and it might just be outside what we can manage but we'll see.

One other thing that the exhibition threw up was that we are now also considering a different area of France if we go with the first three options. Languedoc Roussilon has been our first choice because we know it pretty well and like it there, but as we have been looking at French property prices, there are some excellent bargains in the Charente Maritime area, that's towards La Rochelle, Poitiers, Sevres. We weren't really interested in the area as it is the Atlantic Coast by the Bay of Biscay so thought the weather wouldn't be anything special. It is. Exactly the same temperatures as the South. To give you an idea what we are talking about in terms of value....

This costs about the same as our two bedroom flat in Isleworth. (This is a different Department but is comparable)

For those who fancy a slightly grander property, for the equivalent of a three bedroom flat in Richmond, or three bedroom house by us, you might fancy this.

If you are on a budget and want to do a bit of sprucing up this might appeal.

None of these are particularly atypical, each day brings 30 or 40 similar properties across France, these are just some of the properties that went online yesterday.

But which way to go? I think another holiday soon might help clarify things. Or maybe two or three. But whichever option we go with I think that's the way things are heading sooner or later, the timing's partly up to the the Gods of Chance and Camelot.