Thursday, October 23, 2008

Anastacia est mort

It is with regret I announce the passing of Anastacia, spinster hamster of this parish. She died yesterday in the night, which of course is our day, of unknown causes.

She is today lying in state at the family home where a short burial and commemmoration service will take place some time around 6 this evening.

The family have requested no sunflower seeds.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Blackpool Beware

Come Friday it's the annual trip to Blackpool!

I would say, "Lock Up Your Daughters", but at my age it's more, lock up your mothers, or if you're a particularly young blogger, your Grandmothers!

Better Than You

One of the things that irritates me, (OMG, not another! I hear you cry!!) is people who park where they shouldn't. But even more specifically than parking in disabled spaces or on double yellow lines.

My real bugbear is at our local Tescos. At the end of each row of parking lanes is a hatched area. This helps people move from row to row without having to be in the roadway. Nearly every day there is someone parked in one of them. And it's nearly always a Merc driver. It doesn't have to be a busy day, there are usually plenty of spaces within two rows or so, but they seem unable to use the same spaces the rest of us park in with consumate ease.

Yesterday however, they excelled themselves. Five of the hatched boxes were occupied. Two by Mercs, two by BMWs and one by a land rover. Strange that, all five cars are "upmarket". They obviously feel the need to prove they are above other mere drivers in common cars by parking in "special" spaces. Or of course, all the disabled spaces may have ben full which is where they normally head to first!

I've heard the excuse about needing more door room for getting out but most of the time you are only 5 rows from the main entrance and there are no other cars there, so even if you do think that is an excuse, it gets shot to pieces. It's just rudeness.

Cat's In The Cradle

I hear via my stepmum that her and my father are taking a trip to Cyprus, as they do each year, but this is likely to be the last. His health is deteriorating at a reasonable pace and flights and manoverability are beginning to be a problem.

This leads me on to having to think about the los of my father, not imminently, but in a forseeable future. The loss of my mother, when it should happen, will be devastating to me. I find it hard even to contemplate such an event. But as I am sure I have blogged previously, my father and I aren't particularly close. A situation and relationship best summed up in the lyrics of Harry Chapin's song referred to in the title of this post, although I suspect that it is unfair on my father.

I can't see how I will react. I'll be sad, but then I was sad when one of my oldest friends father died. I just can't see me feeling worsed than that. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

C'Mon Lewis

Well, despite the sledging by his opponents, Lewis Hamilton got his 10 points for this race. Good on him. Ferrari are no doubt going to do their Man Utd act and claim how there were a number of incidents which hapened, all of which went against them. And Massa managed a wonderful second place when his team mate managed to slow down enought for him to finally catch up and overtake. And I thought team orders had been outlawed.

Lewis just has to make sure he gets pole position as I suspect if he isn't in front there will be manouvers to block him in, or even worse, someone will contrive to have a bump with him just to take him out.

Not that I'm cynical of course.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dismissal Downside

One of the worst bit's of running your own company is having to sack people, although in my case it's more just not using someone again as they are legally a sub-contractor.

I have someone who I have used a few times, is damned good at what he does, but unfortunately it would appear has light fingers.

A laptop went missing from a job he was working on. He was sort of in the frame but so were too many other people. Now news reaches me that would boost him up to 95% certain to have done it. He won't admit it of course, as he's not admitted to some other stuff on another job being down to him, which it was, bang to rights. I really don't want it to be him as I want to help him get established in his own right as he hasn't had the easiest life up until now, but he has to help himself. And not just to other peoples goods!

It's sad, and I'll have to discuss it with Marj as she is co-director, but I think the writings on the wall for him.

And as this is my blog and thus everything has to be about me, I now have to find someone else who can do the work I had lined up for him and that isn't going to be easy.

When is a meeting not a meeting?

I was in Sainsburys this morning when there was a staff announcement....

Could all department managers go to,,,,,, for this mornings huddle.

A morning huddle?

I assume this is a meeting where everyone stands round and just gets told the orders of the day. Fair enough. But letting your customers know you are having " a huddle" just makes you sound like a bunch of idiots.

Of course, it could be worse, I might have misheard and they were all off for their morning cuddle!!!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

New Technology - Ancient User

I have a Tom Tom. A navigation system rather than a small drum. And damned useful it has been over the year I've been using it. So to celebrate it's first birthday, in addition to the speed safety camera package I've also taken the traffic package.

I have a bluetooth phone, and it can find the tom tom when it trawls the ether looking for something. All I have to do is to enter the correct code. But which code? The tomtom device code doesn't seem to do the trick whatever form I enter it in, so is it a differnt code, like a pin number, that came with it. Or is it some code that my phone came with that needs to be entered although that wasn't the case with my handsfree earpiece.

The answer is probably quite straightforward but I seem to be in a position where I start ringing the helplines at £4000 per second or whatever they cost, and probably with someone on the other end who doesn't speak english that well.

I might fiddle with it a bit more first. I hate ringing helplines.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Great Myths of my Childhood

1) That the bump in the tarmac over the bolts that held down a bench in our school playground were in fact an earthquake.

2) The handles on the front of steam locomotives that held the door shut were in fact the hands of a clock.

3) Ladies got pregnant by drinking wee.

4) Robert Wiles mum was 116 years old.

I was only about 6-7 at the time though!

Monday, October 06, 2008

View to a Killing

I've done a few market research interviews over the last few years for which you get paid a little and have been signed up to a new agency. This thursday I'm doing an hour interview for which I get paid £40.00.

Now, if only I could get 5 of those a day for a whole year I'd be quite happy!

Celebrity Cancer.

News came out over the wekend that Wendy Richards has cancer. Not a big fan but sorry to hear that, it's been a battle for a time for her over the last few years. I don't know whether it became public knowledge because she brought it up in an interview or through answering a question from the press. Hopefully, there'll be little else about it and she can get on with her plans in private and with some dignity.

And it is that final bit that has got my goat over Jade Goody and her brush with cervical cancer recently. To be fair, I have only seen odd headlines on the front of the magazines which litter the racks of Tesco and Sainsburys but she apparently has been so close to death on an ever increasing number of occasions that it is a miracle she has had the time, the inclination or the health to do interviews. Now I gather she is faced with her Chemo which she can hardly deal with the thought of.

Yes Jade, you and all the other people in the country who have had, and presently have, cancer. Yet they manage to cope with what dignity they can in situations which I suspect are many times worse than yours. I may be being incredibly uncharitable but I suspect the pain of her illness was somewhat lessened by the anaesthetic of yet more column inches in the media.

Housework

I've had real trouble with internet connections recently, both with the landline and mobile connections, however, I'm back.

At least it's made me do a little bit of tidying up of the links to the right. Delete a few, update a few, etc.

Obviously nothing too exciting you understand.

Friday, September 12, 2008

The Big Bang

Am I the only one who really wishes he'd been at CERN this week and when they turned on the Collider blown up a crisp packet and burst it behind everyones back?

Monday, September 01, 2008

Going to Big School

Lord, I feel old.

40 years ago today I started at Ealing Grammar School as a fresh faced 11 year old.

Things I didn't know then but would begin over the next few years......

I sat next to boy called Walter John Loosley. Although he is now known by his middle name he has remained one of my closest friends to this day.

I joined the school choir which led to me joining the church choir and developing a love of classical music. Although I didn't sing for the best part of 30 years it was this start that has lead me to being in West London Opera, amongst other groups, today.

Although I never really tried it, the school introduced me to rowing. In 1980, two of my classmates, Ian McNuff and John Beattie rowed at the Olympics in Moscow and came back with a Bronze medal. Also in the boat was Martin Cross who did the commentary on Radio 5 last month. Oh, and my history master was David Tanner, present Head of English Rowing. That's why, when the Olympics were on recently, I watch the rowing with most interest.

The other thing I managed to do was fail 8 of my 9 O'levels. I relied on my natural ability and didn't put in the effort. A trait that reappears in my life with all too frequent regularity.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Harder than you think!

I'm getting fed up of people saying that Michael Phelps 8 gold medals are easily obtained because he has so many races that he is capable of entering.

Admittedly, most of those saying probably don't swim at all otherwise they might get an idea of just how difficult competing in four different strokes at any level actually is.

The argument that he has four strokes and four different distances he could cover doesn't seem to work for athletes yet to me it should be even easier for them. After all they only have to run. Now, if they had to do some of them backwards, or others on just one leg then I might take some notice. And why don't decathletes compete in the ten individual sports as well as the collective. Because of course, they are good at all of them but not "world class" at any of them. That's not to decry them as I do believe that is the hardest of all gold medals to get.

So, anyone who thinks what he did was easy, I have a challenge. If you don't normally swim butterfly, just have a go. Just one length, that's all. Then assuming you haven't managed to drown yourself by getting the breathing horribly wrong I am up for the following;

I swam at schoolboy level 35 years ago, and then, only 50m breaststroke. I haven't swum more than a length in three years. I will take you on at the eight races he won gold at and see if you can beat me at any of them, but we have to do them all.

There won't be any gold medals though!

Lame Excuse

Not that it's any excuse for the lack of posts but I have an injured foot. I don't know how I did it. Went to bed on Sunday night right as rain, woke up Monday morning and couldn't put any weight on it. It's not getting better but still doing the manful thing and ignoring it in the hope it will miraculously cure itself. I may give in and go to casualty tomorrow if it is stil really bad.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

For better or worse...

New technology is supposed to bring benefits. I can think of two areas where it appears to have made it worse.

One is the world of banking, where it now takes one day longer to pay money into your account than it did 30 years ago, although to be fair, that is more to do with banks wanting the extra day's interest even though technology would allow instant transfers should they wish.

The second is weather forecasting. Last sunday, BBC 5 day forecast for London was

Light Showers
Rain
Light Showers
Sun
Sun

By Monday night it was rain for all five days.

What have we had so far?

Monday, Sun with an interesting electrical storm in the evening with a bit of rain to follow.
Tuesday, Sun.
Wednesday, Sun.

Well, the billions that have been spent on the weather satellites have been worth every penny then. It would probably be more accurate just to hang some seaweed outside the door. Unless of course, that is how they do it?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Hells Kitchen

We are working on a kitchen refurb at the moment. We allowed two weeks and we are now in week four. The client doesn't mind and the kitchen does look good, but I won't half be glad to get it finished!

Time Travel

Listening to the news yesterday I understand that Gordon Brown was at a facility that takes young men on the edge of crime and teaches them a trade. In the past he has also talked about fast-tracking the brighter pupils at school.

I have a suggestion.

At 11 we could divide the kids up into those who are academic achievers and send them to, say, a grammar school. Those who show talents in other directions could go to a new type of secondary school, called perhaps, a secondary modern. Come 16 those in the secondary moderns who were lagging academically, or anyone else who wanted to, could go to technical colleges where they would be taught a trade. I reckon that would fulfill his bright new future vision.

Oh yes, that's what we had up till the 70s when the Labour government decided to destroy it in favour of Comprehensive education. The great idea where if you mix academic children with those of other abilities everyone will improve to the highest level. Just like if you go training at Chelsea's training ground you too will play in the Premiership!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

How to work for nothing.

My mate has been off work for 7 years on incapacity benefit etc. He has decided it is time to go back to work, albeit part time. "The Powers That Be" have been very good at trying to find him something suitable and have given training in areas where he wanted it.

Another section of TPTB have informed him that all the money he earns will be deducted from his benefits and also his rent and council tax allowances will have to be reviewed.

So exctly where is the incentive to return to work when you can end up with no financial gain if not financially worse off?

He doesn't expect them to pay him his full benefit plus keep his wage, but if they deducted 50% until earnings hit parity with benefits it would at least offer some encouragement. If he is financially worse off he will jack in the job even if it does mean his self-esteem will take a knock.