A better class of bomber

If the 21/7 bombers were so proud to become martyrs had their bombs gone off why are they no longer proud to admit to the cause.

In the old days any self-respecting bomber would have used a trial for making political points rather than trying to get off.

Paris Texas France

Next weekend a mate is having his 50th birthday trip to Paris. I'll be visiting Sacre Couer as I've never been inside it and we might go to Versailles on the Sunday, but if we have spare time does anyone have a tip for a little known place to visit that's a real gem?

Human Rights Violation

Following on from the story last week that two escaped prisoners could not be identified by picture as it might infringe their human rights we now have a story that a youth offender who tried to commit suicide but was cut down has won about £575,000 because his human rights were violated.

Something surely has to be done about this misuse of the Human Rights Act and it is a misuse. It seems to be interpreted by everyone and his dog as a violation of right the moment you aren't allowed to do whatever you want. The problem will come that if it is used for cases such as the above, it will become harder for real cases of violation to get heard quickly, and also to be taken seriously.

A couple of points though. Firstly, if that offender had been allowed to kill himself, i.e. not cut down when they found him, then surely it would have made euthanasia legal and set a precedent. Secondly, had he died, then his family could have sued the Prison Service for negligence. A rather dangegous precedent thus set, as it means if someone tries to commit suicide, whether they are successful or not, there will be a payout.

The Upper Class on The Upper Deck

One gets used to the chavs of London letting their offspring cavort around the bus, using it as there own personal playground and running and climbing over seats, passengers, stairwells, but now even the posh kids are at it.

On the 137 earlier today a woman with a particularly refined accent had her two kids with her, one of which was laying on the window ledge of the front upstairs window between the glass and the railing. They were discussing it's upcoming birthday party which would be attended, as best I remember, by Morgan, Charles, Samantha, Gregory but I don't think there were any Waynes or Chardonnays on the guest list. Just as well the bus didn't hit something as said child wouldn't be seeing it's birthday. The stupidity of some parents is amazing.

I nearly said something but suddenly remembered I'm a tradesman and hadn't been spoken to first. Luckily I still know my place!

Hello 2007

So I'm back online you'll be pleased to hear. (cough). And probably even more pleased to hear that I don't have a list of New Year Resolutions. Except the one which is to throw out the bathroom scales which have developed a serious error of making me 4 lbs heavier than three weeks ago.

Christmas Greetings

Not sure I'll be online much now before Christmas so Happy Christmas and all that sort of stuff. May whatever you're stuffing this christmas be tender and succulent. What that might be is totally up to you.

So Here It Is, Merry 50th.

Today I have a strange disjointed feeling. Everyone keeps wishing me happy 50th birthday and I have no idea who they are talking about. Everyone knows you are old when you are 50 and I am still nobbut a lad.

Something is was afoot.

I knew Marj had planned something for last Saturday as an early suprise for my birthday. BY the wednesday I knew we were getting up early and going to Waterloo. I knew others were involved at some point.

What happened was, we went to Waterloo and got ready to catch the Eurostar to Lille, both a town and a mode of transport I have not sampled before. Then one by one, various friends turned up until we reached Lille where another two were waiting.

I thought what might happen was me and Marj go out for the day and then when we got back people might be in a pub waiting. The fact that people were willing to go to another country to celebrate my birthday at what would not be an inconsiderable expense to them has actually quite moved me. But I'm British. So I won't let them know.

And if you haven't been to Lille it's a really nice place. I'll definitely go back for a longer visit but at the moment it is heaving with poeople visiting the Christmas Market. And, I don't wish to worry any of you single gentlemen out there, but there are a couple of wedding dress shops that the girls in our party were drooling about, particularly at the incredibly reasonable prices being charged.

...when a man has to do.....

Well I did it.

I am now the proud owner of a Mahalo Ukelele, with a hard case and plectrum.

I also indulged as it was sensible in a teach yourself ukelele book plus George Formbys greatest hits book. I already do a passable version of "With My Little Ukelele In My Hand".

I can't begin tell you how pleased Marj is!

There's a certain time in a mans life....

As the countdown to my 50th moves relentlessly forward, just 14 days to go, I have decided that there is something I must do. I have felt it for some time and feel now is the appropriate age to fulfill this longing. So in the next few days, maybe even in a matter of hours, I will be buying a ukelele.

Why, I cannot tell, but I feel it's something that befits a man of 50 to sit in the evening and have a quick strum.

I wonder if my mother was frightened by George Formby when she was a girl. That might explain it.

Feud for thought.

Whilst in Turkey, the Pope is meeting Bartholomew I, the leader of the 300million Orthodox Christians. The aim is to try to build bridges following the split of the two churches in 1054AD.

It's taken 952 years to start talking?

Steady lads, lets go slowly on these talks, no point in rushing into anything.

When is a female not a female?

Last week Georgio Armani added his name to the calls for the ending of size zero models. He has stated that he will be usaing models that are more in keeping with normal women. They will be feminine, whihc he explains means "little breast and straight hips".

Sorry? Am I the only person left who think women should have some shape. Marj is much more "Renoir" than size zero and I'm glad of it. What he is describing is still waif-like, gamine, but mainly "masculine" or boyish.

And surely hereby lies the problem. I din't think it is too stereotypical to say that a great number of male fashion designers are gay. Therefore, is it any wonder that their ideal female model is more male than female, even if in a pretty way.

The average size woman in Britain is size 16 supposedly, therefore, when they all start patting themselves on the back for using size 10 and even 12 models they still are pandering to the minority.

Give me a real woman any day.

Trials & Tribulations

So "one-eyed, hook handed, cleric of hate", (I believe you have to call him that now by law), Abu Hamza feels that after years of preaching terrorism and incitement to violence that he didn't get a particularly fair trial. And also that those who carried out the bombing of 7/7 and 9/11 didn't help either.

No, you probably didn't Abu. Tough life isn't it.

I've become rather fed-up with the wonderful world of windows and whilst I'm still going to do odd contracts for family, friends and existing customers that I like, from now I am concentrating on just one product, (for the time being), through my new company.

Welcome to Serranda Shutters.

Feel free to leave feedback on how you think the site works. It is as always a work in progress but at least it's now online.

So Gifted

Latest government directive to screw up the world of education is that all scholls have a register of gifted and talented pupils. Fair enough.

Government says that 25% of pupils must be registered!

That should make truly gifted children feel better when the oik down the road gets into the register for being able to pick his nose simultaneously with both fingers.

And don't even get me started on the report regarding the awarding of A & As levels where commas aren't required and the use of "u" rather than "you" is acceptable.

The Good, The Bad and The Unlikely

Many of you must be waiting with baited breath to hear whether my proposed 50th Birthday party if I'm a millionaire is going ahead.

The answer is I still plan to do it. The problem is that I'm still aproximately a million short. Still, the good news is that with 6 weeks to go there are still a number of National Lottery draws left!

Happy Birthday Muffin

Happy Birthday Muffin the Mule.

So old is this tele programme that it had finished before I was born. Just.

Altogether now!

"We love Muffin, Muffin the Mule"

No sniggering at the back you boys!!!

Handy Hint #178

If you have a conservatory or house guttering that has a flat bottom (ogee), then you can clean it easily by cutting off the bottom of a plastic milk bottle and running it along the guttering. It scoops everything up and your gutters will run clean and true once again.

Brought to you by "I've Got A Milk Bottle and I Know How To Use It"

Taming the Terrible Tens

This afternoon Marj has to teach the class from Hell.

Year 6 are a bunch of kids who cannot sit still for more than about 5 minutes without mayhem breaking out. If they're not talking/laughing/shouting, they are hitting each other or generally larking about. It will be worse today because they has Assessments this morning and they will have been "quiet" and under control, or what passes as control for them, all morning.

Every teacher in the school dreads having them regardless of how many yuears in the job because they cannot be controlled. Because now you cannot do anything to control them.

I'm sorry, I'm going to say it, but "In My Day" it just wouldn't be tolerated.

I once got slapped on the leg with a ruler by the teacher when I was too busy talking to Malcolm Venn and didn't see her creep up on me. Can't do that now. It's common assault.

I remember the whole class having to sit with their hands on their heads for talking or with a finger to their lips to remind us not to talk. Can't do that now. That's listed under child abuse.

Really disruptive children can be sent to the headmistress who can talk to them about their behaviour. Oh wow. That really panics them.

So on the whole, this clkass will go on to senior school with no sense of discipline, achieving lower standards of literacy and numeracy than they should, and no doubt the parents will blame the teachers.

If I got into trouble at school I wouldn't go home and tell my parents, I'd only expect to get told off again by them. (I might if I thought i'd been treated unfairly). Now, kids rush home and the next thing parents are down the school complaining about little Johnny being told off cos really he's a good boy.

And the poor teachers aren't even allowed to get their own back by putting sarcastic comments on school reports. No wonder they all want to leave.

An Act of Kindness

As I sit here at my compyuter keyboard I should be about 100 miles north at my uncles funeral. I turned up at Kings Cross this morning to discover there were no trains due to power cable problems.

My main concern was that my mum was meant to be meeting the train I was catching so we could travel up together. I spoke to information and they told me the trains were fine at Hatfield.

They weren't. My mum turned up to discover there were no trains and she was going to miss her only brothers funerals. She went back to the flats she lives in and the warden, Peter, saw her. Knew where she had meant to be going and asked why she was back. She told him and he said to give him 10 minutes to make some arrangements and he would drive her there himself because there was no way she was going to miss out on being there.

I don't mind missing out, funerals are not my cup of tea at the best of times, but I am eternally grateful to him for making sure my mum gets to see her brother off.