A pair of endings.

 The first one, what with it being the 28th of Feb, is the last post of the Blogathon 2021. Not sure how we made it through with such a lack of activity but we did.

The second is another step away from work and into retirement. I have cleared out and cleaned my van, which will be returned to the company we have leased it off, first thing tomorrow morning. It feels like a very significant step but once more, perhaps being made worse by the times we live in. It's not the giving up work that is getting at me but a sort of loss of freedom I suspect. Who knows.

A few years back I kept going with daily posts until mid May, perhaps even the end of May. I'll not be doing that this year. 

Wallet

 The contents of my wallet are presently;

McDonalds Loyalty Card
Nat West Debit Card
Revolut Card
BNP Debit Card
Another BNP Debit Card
Carte Vitale Health Card
Axa Health Insurance Card
The French version of a EHIC Card
My French Driving License
30€ Cash
A Prayer Written by a Close Friend
A Euromillions ticket which didn't win but I haven't thrown away.

Art Club

 I may have mentioned previously that I have the manual dexterity of a retarded wombat but I had an overwhelming desire to join in with Grayson Perry's Art Club 2nd series. I didn't watch the first one so I'm not really sure why. I quite like Grayson because he seems really grounded. 

So I started watching and then realised that you needed to know what subjects were coming up. A quick search revealed the five following subjects from tonights episode. 

Which is when I discovered the next two subjects were already closed so no doing those ones if you can't send them in.

Having made a note of the last three subjects I thought I'd read about sending stuff in.

Which is when I discovered it is only for people in the UK and Eire.

Bums.

New Toy

 I got a new phone today. We had to reduce the mobile contract I was on from extortionately expensive to something reasonable. Because we had an all singing and dancing package when we were working, which meant having calls to everyone in the world, it was costing a frog's leg short of €90 a month. Thankfully we have got it down to €19.99 a month. Unfortunately, because it is a change to an existing contract there was no phone with it and I was using a substitute phone as I'd broken the original and the present one was dying on it's feet, or mainly on it's screen upon which I drop it with regularity.

I was just sighing with resignation when TMM asked whether she was due an upgrade. Indeed she was, so she enquired whether I could have it instead. And they agreed! Huzzah.

I couldn't get what I would really like, the latest Samsung, S20? because although an upgrade we had to pay for a proportion of the cost and that was still astronomical, but for just a €1 coin I was able to get the latest A42 release. It has four llenses on the back which may or may not be good. I'll know when I take a photo, but what is better, is it ships with 128gb storage. I am faint with excitement. The phone it replaced had 16gb and I only had 600mb spare. I listen to downloaded audiobooks on it so I had to delete one to get the next one on. Now I can store a virtual library on there.

Until I start apping it up. Which reminds me, I need to get the geocaching one on there.

Oldsters Today

 When Mum stayed with us during lockdown, to break up the monotony of only having knitting and puzzles to do she went back to reading which she had given up a few years before because of cataracts. Having had her eyes done she realised this line of pleasure had been reopened to her. We had some romance stories, her preferred genre, and she got through a few before a window opened to get her back home. Since then, I have been picking up books for her on Amazon and getting them delivered. She has worked her way through the three books that Anton du Beke has written, he of Strictly Come Dancing fame, And yes, they do revolve around ballroom dancing.

Next, I have got her some some books by Nadine Dorries. Romances set in Ireland and Liverpool. And she has just about finished them. So we were discussing whether she wants more books by Nadine or whether she fancies a different author. Although it took her virtually half the first book to get into the writing style she says she has enjoyed them and she is happy to have more of hers. And then she told me they are a bit racy. I advised her that maybe she should shut her eyes and not read those bits. 

"You must be joking" she said, "I'm learning all sorts of stuff I didn't know".

As long as she doesn't ask me any questions!!!!

Looking Up

 Just as there are bad days, there are good days too. Today is one of the latter.

The Magnificent M went to see the doctor this morning for a repeat prescription. So, as we do every time one of us sees him, she asked what news of the vaccine. We are on his list. For the next two weeks he only gets 10 doses a week and after that it is 30 per week. He is duty bound to vaccinate the most vulnerable first but a) he thinks we will have had our first jag by end March and therefore the second by end April. This means we could be in a good position to get into the UK when the borders open depending on what rules there are. He also has us on his emergency list so if people don't turn up we might get called to come straight in. 

Next up was that we both got an email to say we have our appointments to get our Carte de Sejour, the all valuable Right to Stay. This is in mid-April. They have accepted the forms we have sent them with the supporting evidence that prove we have lived in France for 5 years +. So all we have to do is take our passports, a typical passport sized photo, the email they have sent, and once they have seen those they should issue a card. All this is free from what we understand. Unlike the renewing of my passport which will wait for another day's scribblings. So again that would make travel easier if we can leave the country in May onwards. The other good thing about this, for us, is that it is one more physical sign of our integration into French living. Unlike many British who are scared stiff of identification cards, (whilst complaining about it on their mobile phones which are never more than a foot away from them), the French don't mind them. They make everything run much more smoothly. We will not be able to get the National Identification Card unless we take French Nationality. Which we probably won't, mainly for practical reasons should we wish to go back to live our final years "back home", although it feels less and less like somewhere we would think of as home with every year that passes.

A Breed Apart

 So, if I was to get a dog, and it's a big if, particularly as The Magnificent M says we aren't having one. what would I get. I might actually like to have one and I did of course put my foot down, but not until she left the room obviously.

I know I want a dog and not a glorified hairy rat. So no yorkshire terrier or chihuahua for me!

I'm perfectly safe in my masculinity so I don't need a macho dog, like a Rottweiler, bull terrier or bulldog.

Nor are we made ofmoney so the feeding costs mean Great Danes, St Bernards and other oversize dogs are out.

In fact I probably only have three dogs I would consider.

In third :  In reality I probably would rule this out but I love Bedlington Terriers. But in the end I think it's probably not quite "dog" enough even though I love the look of them.

Second : This is my runner up and may in the end be the winner. Of course, they are as mad as a sack of monkeys, but a cocker spaniel appeals greatly. A friend in the past had one and so does a friend now. Both completely mad. But loveable and a bundle of fun.

The Winner : Firstly, I think it is a good size for a dog. Secondly, they always appear to be grinning. Thirdly, I was born in the area they are named after.  It's one of these. An Airedale Terrier!

Bad Day

 We were meant to be going out to a friends for lunch today. We are allowed such freedoms over here. And then they cancelled. Normally that would be met with a shrug of the shoulders, a quick FFS, and a plan to perhaps have a day out or go for a meal somewhere. But those are luxuries that are not available to us these days. We would have gone to the coast but there isn't anything open and we would have to leave very early to get home before curfew. And so no meal out either.

Shouldn't be a problem, but things like that in these times take on an extra downturn. So today hasn't been just a bit of a disappointment but more.

And then news came that the Magnificent M's best friends mother died early today. Not from covid but she had advanced Alzheimers. no-one with her because of restrictions, but she died clutching her teddy bear. At least her friend will be allowed to go to a funeral.

This covid is just a complete bastard.

Really? Really??

 If I live to be a 1000 years old I will never understand why anyone would find Ant and Dec funny. All I see are two Morecambe and Wise wannabe's but without the talent. To be fair, I've never sat through a whole episode of Saturday Night Takeaway. I have caught odd bits before and have never seen anything to change my mind. And the Santander adverts are a waste of space as well. Maybe they appeal best to the Byker Grove generation who grew up with them and not those who grew up with M & W.

And as for 17(?) national tv awards? I'm obviously missing something.

Can anyone enlighten me?

Steps

 And not the ones with the funny hand moves whilst singing Tragedy.

Many people have taken this period of lockdown to take a good look at themselves and decide they need to address their fitness levels and increase their exercise. I am not one of those people.

At the beginning of the lockdown I came down with a strange sensation that enveloped my body and made it nigh on impossible to exercise. It is called laziness.

I have been very good at it if my step counter is anything to go by.   My step counter, up until yesterday shows my best day as 3058 and my most immoblie day was 371. I mean, it is about 80 steps to come downstaira in the morning and go back up at night. so I only managed 290ish during the rest of the day.

Actually, I think the watch has been counting steps incorrectly, It doesn't think I've walked anywhere in the last 3 hours but even I am not that sloth-like.

Even so, I am somewhat short of the recommended 10,000 steps a day. And yes, I know the answer is get a dog!

Perseverence Pays Off

 Sod what I was going to write today. For a child who grew up in the 60s, things landing on Mars is exciting. I know they will grab a load of rock and they might discover traces of some sort of microbes but a small part of me hopes they are going to find something amazing, like if Dan Dare had gone there. He'd find something! Knowing that the unit had to slow from 19.000 mph or whatever to about 2 mph is exciting, just because it is. That's like really really fast to really really slow. How many things they said would happen have fallen short and taken longer to achieve but tonight there is another slight step forward. 

I'm probably never going to see  a manned mission to Mars, or at least a manned landing but I know it is coming. And maybe at the same time we finally get there, The Mighty Mekon will be arriving from his galaxy.

Hoo need's Gramar

 In general I am not a grammar nazi. I tend to see spelling mistakes and the misplaced apostrophe and roll my eyes or whatever I feel like doing. But there is one thing that gets my goat more than any other. It's not a rare mistake but I think I am seeing the mistake more often than the correct version. The offending phrase?

I would of.

FFS. It's becoming ubiquitous. Obviously Facebook comments are full of "would of's" and I know some of the people that do it. They went to the same school as me. There is no way they cannot know it is would have or would've. I was on an online chat with the Passport Office and I got a "would of" out of him. I know this sounds snobbish, but this is a government agency. They need standards. 

Maybe I'm just old and can't keep up with modern ways but schools are beginning to teach grammar again so it has obviously been decided that maybe it is important.

Well, if it starts happening with the future perfect tense, then I will of been right to be worried!

Film Night

 We don't watch that many films, although more than I ever used to. And most of the time I can't stand cinemas. Well, the cinema is alright, it is sharing it with other people I object to. 

Watching at home on Netflix however is acceptable to me. 

Tonight we watched The Dig. I know of Sutton Hoo in very vague terms. I've never been to see the treasure at the British Museum. In fact I've only been to The British Museum once before and that was to get a geocache. But it was an enjoyable film. And although I'm sure it was heavily romanticised it did tell me more about the find than I knew before.

I bet there were tons of mistakes in it but I never see them. Probably the gold wasn't shining brightly in the ground, that sort of thing.

No idea what we will watch next. We don't do zombies, horror or science fiction. Any suggestions?

Je Suis Georgette

 Bonjour mon amis Masher and Brennig,

I am Georgette the cat of Dave and the M Magnifique. Zey ave gone out of le room so I ave taken the control of le keyboard. I am desolé  about the writings of Dave. Zey are very boring. Not once as e talked about pilchards or le toy froggie zat I leurve so much. Ee does his best but he as not ze temperament Francais. Ze istory of Moliere and Victor Hugo. Ee reads the Enid Blyton and ze Dandy. 

I am running zis house almost single-andedly. Ee seems only to manage destroy it yourselfs. Zey ave made a patio of earth and now ave decided to put ze slabs on it. How am I supposed to dig ze earth up if I cannot reach it. Paf!

I will keep training im but I think it is a cause of the most desperate kind. Merde! Zey are coming back. I must go! 

Au Revoir until ze next time.

Diva Devieilhe

I have fallen in love. And how apt with it being Jour St Valentin as we call it here. Luckily so has the Magnificent M. The object of our affection is the voice of a soprano, Sabine Devieilhe. She is breaking through into the top ranks of opera singers. She is a collaratura soprano and has recordings of the main collaratura arias but, and this is more impressive, she is performing the roles in the top opera houses. The Magic Flute and Lakme at Vienna Stattsopera, The Royal Opera, Paris Opera. She has marvellous control of the top notes and can confidently sing them even at the quietest volume. The only other singer I have heard who could do that as well as her was a very young Montserrat Caballe. She is young, only 35 which means she has another 10 to 15 years until she hits her best if she follows the normal route.

But for all the collaratura stuff it was an aria we found on YouTube that sealed the deal, link below. Neither of us particularly like Baroque Opera, we find it "thin". But not only does she make us like the aria, she has made us want to see the opera, and we haven't even heard of it. Whether it is that opera or not we want to see her as soon as we are able to.

Handel: "Tu del Ciel ministro eletto" - Sabine Devieilhe

Old Rockers

 I get used to hearing this singer or that one from my youth is old. I think we are all aware that the Rolling Stones are about 230 years old each. But just occasionally I get surprised by someone being much older than I thought. Now, I know the Moody Blues started in the 60's because I had Go Now as a single I got for a cheap price at a jumble sale. But I really associate them with the seventies when I was in my mid-late teens and I tend to think of those singers being not much older than me. So I was surprised whilst watching Sky Arts tonight doing a retrospective of their work that Justin Hayward is 74. 74!!! He can't be. I danced to Nights in White Satin at many a disco and I'm sure he wasn't much older than me. But he was, 10 years older. 

And The Magnificent M has a connection to Justin Hayward. I may have mentioned it before, but his Mum taught her to cook at school. Perhaps we'll have Nights in, Tarte Tatin.

I'll get my coat.

Nectar of the Gods

 There are many wonderful foodstuffs available in France. But this is one of the best.

Erotic Precarity

 "What?", I hear you cry.

Let me lay the background. I am an admin on a closed sub group of a group founded about that everyday tale of countryfolk, The Archers. Of the seven admins I am perfectly placed in the middle of the ages, three being younger than me but no-one less than 50 and three being older, but no-one more than 75. Pretty much the demographic you expect for the Archers listeners. We have a small WhatsApp group for the seven of us and this morning one of them was somewhat surprised to have received an offer to visit a talk on erotic precarity.

"What?", we all cried. I sensing a trend here.

So we started googling. It's actually a very interesting subject. Economic Precarity is better known, the idea being that within relationships, whether that is personal or commercial, both sides are dependent on each other for things to work out but there is a risk to both and not necessarily an equal risk. Erotic precarity is slightly misleading as it is to do with love and sex within a relationship and the balance of power/risk.

This got us thinking about other things. One of my fellow admins sits on a committee of the Methodist Church with regard to Exorcisms, she is the safeguarding officer. Now, I can see there is quite a lot of precarity in exorcisms. What I don't understand, is she there to safeguard the victim, the clergy or the demons?!

It's not all hay bales and Shires with us Archers fans you know.

Portfolio

 These are the properties I have lived in.

1 Airedale Cliff, Leeds 13
74 Elers Road, London W13
19 Boston Gardens, London W7
4 Byron Court, London W7
Cobden Hotel, Hagley Road, Birmingham 16.
108 Higgins Lane, Birmingham 32
25 Wheatsheaf Road, Birmingham 16
4 Byron Court, London W7
3 Richardson House, Isleworth TW7
13 Rue du Barry, Loupia, 11300

I wonder how many more and where?

Reality TV

 I love a bit of property tv, whether that be Escape To The Country, Location Location Location, (so good they named it thrice), or those buying property abroad. In fact they are partly responsible for us living in France. Through a friend I vaguely know Amanda Lamb who used to present one and has started presenting another on HGTV. I'd love to present one but I am afraid I wouldn't have the patience with the punters involved. 

There was one this evening looking for a place in Spain. She was taken to one apartment and decided it was too urban. So, off to another apartment that was a little quieter and she thought she might be lonely. It was still on a development! 

And the number of times people are downsizing and then complain the rooms aren't as numerous or as large as the house they have now. I just want to scream "what bit of downsizing are you failing to understand!".

But then, that is partly the pleasure of it as well. 

Too old for Radio 2.

 So I understand there is major controversy. It has been announced that Radio 2 is to stop playing music from the 50s, 60s and 70s. They want to bring in the majority of music for it's core audience target which is 35 to 55 years old. Which actually destroys much of it's present audience, The Baby Boomers.

They've done it before, around the time they pensioned off Jimmy Young. But there was a difference. The people who were "ditched at that time were mainly my Mum's generation, who had come here from the Light Programme when the BBC changed style in 1967 (?). They didn't do pop music. Or not in the all encompassing way we have grown up with. We probably all have songs we like from all the decades. There have been lots of different genres, but for our generation you probably can pick a song you like from most of them through the decades. 

So what of the future? Radio 2 will carry on playing mainly 90s music onwards with some 80's music which will dwindle as it moves on. But where will the Boomers go? There are lots of stations that play music from the time, but many are on Digital Radio rather than terrestrial. But Radio " listeners aren't going to migrate to another BBC national station. We aren't all going to think, ooh, I better listen to Radio 4, unless it's stuff you already listen to. 

But there is a station that is coming later this month. Boom. Unfortunately I think it is a didgital station but Alexa will get it and no doubt other similar systems. DJs incude "Diddy" David Hamilton, "Little" Nicky Horne, I think Gary Davies, a couple of others I can't remember, and probably some I haven't heard of on the non peak hour shows. They will, I am sure, be playing much from the 60s, 70s and 80s which would be the eras they are famous for. And there will also be another difference too. There are no playlists. The DJs get free reign to play what they want. So we won't have to listen to the same record, on the hour, ever hour.

Let's see if Radio 2's loss is Boom's gain. 

Terrace Tales

18 months ago a friend came to stay for a week. Whilst here we discussed we were going to be renewing our decking in the bask garden with composite planks. No, said he, slabs are much better. We agreed but said that I could manage putting down decking but not slabs. So he said he would come and do the work for board and lodgings. So that was agreed upon. We went and looked for slabs and found some we liked. He decided to come back this time last year, so we ordered all the bits we needed including 465 slabs.

He arrived, and so did covid. And France went into lockdown, no-one delivering anything. We had already done the ground prep work so in fact there was nothing he could really do. He stayed with us for two weeks and decided to make himself useful. This consisted in part of him taking all my screws, bolts, and other fixings and rearranging them into a system he thought was better. 

Anyway, after three weeks he buggered off and said he would come back in the autumn to start the work. Well. one minute we were in lockdown, then the UK, then Greece where he also lives, and so it got to October and he still hadn't made it back. By now the Magnificent M was pacing the floor and bemoaning the fact that our back garden was a replica of The Somme. And then he became ill and that's that.

So we have bitten the bullet and got someone in to do the work and work started this week. laying the hardcore improved the garden, and hopefully, weather permitting, after waiting for a year, we will have our new terrace in the next fortnight.

And then I need to sort all my bloody screws out again!

Le Meilleur Pâtissier

 Like many in this lockdown, I have been inspired to follow in the footsteps of Bake Off and attempt a little patisserie. Just the one. Well, more than one because one would be a waste of time. But just one product. Choux pastry. 

The Magnificent M\still has the cookbook she had for home economics at school. SAnd for the first and most worrying o, with the whole internet at my disposal I went with a book that was first published over 75 years ago. 

Everyone says choux pastry is the hardest pastry to do, but whether it was the recipe or my natural brilliance, and I think we all know the answer to that one, it seemed quite easy and, considering it was my first time they were damned good.

My second batch are now ready and tomorrow will be filled with creme patisserie, which I've also learned to make, And tomorrow we have friends for lunch and they will be my unknowing guinea pigs for my first completed batch of profiteroles.

I'll post again tomorrow if I haven't been arrested for poisoning.

The Bar

 The following are the drinks on top of our sideboard for easy access;

Smirnoff Vodka
Rhubarb and Ginger Gin Liqueur
Home Made Cherry Liqueur
Baileys
La Belle Sandrine
Brighton Dry Gin
Mandarin Napoleon
Martini Rosso

The following are the drinks kept in the sideboard

Bombay Saphire Gin
Old Nick White Rum
Muscat de Samos
Port
Manzanilla Superieure
Ricard
Creme de Framboise
Creme de Bananes
Creme de Menthe
Blue Curacao
Tunel de Mallorca
Advocaat
Mojito Mint Syrup

The contents of the winne chiller and boxes will be for another time.

Calendars at the Ready

Let me take you back 65 years ago today. At Armley Church in Leeds, on a grey and drizzly day, Edward Godfrey Longbottom married Miss Maureen Margaret Kenna. I have always remembered the date of 4th Feb but I don't associate 1956 with the year of my parents marriage but because in December that year, on the 13th, I appeared. Not by magic but the usual way and let us not dwell on that, it is my mother you know! So my normal thought is, today is Feb 4th, it's my parents wedding anniversary, I am 65 this year, it must be their 65th wedding anniversary. 

Not that in reality they got anywhere near it. They saw 18 anniversaries and that was that. They both remarried and for both, the second marriages lasted longer than their first.

But there is something important we need to concentrate on here. They were married on 4th Feb. I was born on 13th December. Yes, that is definitely more than 9 months. Phew!

Fingers and Thumbs

 I do like a bit of Repair Shop. I would have posted this an hour earlier but I was watching tonights episode. Now, I know that there is much wrong with it. For those who repair stuff it doesn't ring true. It's like on Bargain Hunt when they pick something up off a table for £180.00 and the contestant offers £30 and the dealer takes it. You just try doing that at an antique fair! 

So, I know it has faults. I do get caught up a bit in the emotion of it. It's a fuzzy warm thing and during the pandemic there can't be enough fuzzy warm things. And I'll state here that some over proud mother, who is amazed her child has managed to tie it's own shoelaces by the age of 15 and has got themselves onto Breakfast TV, does not cut it for me.

The real draw of The Repair Shop is that in my head, I can do those repairs. Well, perhaps not the clocks, locks and mechanical stuff but let me loose on the wooden items. Or metal. Need to repair that 18th century trinket box? I'm your man. That amazingly ornate coach lamp needs bringing back to life? Give me a ring.

The only problem is that my head can do all this work, but the rest of my body doesn't have the first idea what it is doing. I have all the tools. Can't move for tools. Every tool I could possibly want and quite a few I've forgotten how to use. Anybody want a biscuit cutter?

But, and whisper this quietly around the land, I have fitted out our utility room. OK, it's not an intricate piece combining manual dexterity and knowhow, mainly putting up shelves, fitting a worktop and putting a skirting board on. But for me, despite the worktop isn't perfectly square where they join and the corner joints of the skirting boards need a little bit of filler I actually think I made a good job of it. And what's more important is that The Magnificent M likes it too.

What's next? Well we do actually have a coach lamp that needs restoring. I wonder....

Pavanotti.

One of the things we have recently taken up, now we have the time, are singing lessons. The Magnificent M had had some in the past but I have always relied on my natural talent, which was probably my first mistake. 

So last spring we met up with someone who was starting a local Folk night. Folk isn't really our thing but we went along. After two meets we went into lockdown and there hasn't been another since.

As part of his social media posts around the folk nights he mentioned that him and his partner were putting a concert on at a restaurant relatively nearby. And in fact not only did we go to that one but another two subsequently. The programme for those are a mix of classical, particularly Italian song, and opera. This meant, having appeared on stage in the chorus of a local opera group, we had something to chat about. They are way out of our league as they were both soloists with Scottish National Opera. But we chatted a lot when we saw them and get on well.

And then before Christmas, well, October time I reckon, we started wondering whether they might give us singing lessons. And then a bit later we plucked up the courage to ask and they said yes.

So we are a few lessons in and enjoying ourselves. They have helped with our technique and they have us singing songs we wouldn't normally choose, which is good, including some operatic duets! We actually are improving and we will keep going, as particularly at the moment, it is the one positive thing in the week that we look forward to.

However, as of now, The Royal Opera House has not called!

Let the Festivities Begin!

 Each year, the esteemed Blogger Masher, at least that's what he says he is, blogs daily for a whole month. I join him. At least for some of it as my staying power is waning. Something The Magnificent M keeps mentioning as well. But less of that, this year I shall try my best.

En France, as we say over here, one of our things is to take pride in the commune that we live, in my case Loupia, People don't like to get into trouble because it brings shame upon your commune. And that will be my spur for this year. Even though only a potential maximum of 5 people will know I was attempting it, I will still feel that shame. Feel it deeply. Deeply deep to the deepest deep thing depth. 

Bloody hell, that has piled the pressure on. I'm already panicking about tomorrow!