Out With The Old

And as quickly as possible.

There is much looking backwards and forwards around the blogosphere but so little has happened this year I can't be bothered. In general, 2012 has been crap, finished off by the fact we should be on our way to M's sister for the new year but she rang this morning to say they are all down with flu so we have lost our three day mini break.

Surely 2013 has to be an improvement, he says, knowing that there's every chance it won't be.

And They All Lived Happily Ever After

My stint at Waterstones has ended. 6 weeks of learning about book selling and what happens behind the scenes, Part of that was to work three weeks of night shifts to keep restocking the shelves so they were full for the next day's trade.

It's been rather enjoyable. I was the oldest one there. by some margin, and so I played on that at my expense. And have also made a good friend out of it.

Back to the wonderful world of windows now, except they may be taking on staff for January as well and I've put my name down so we'll see what happens......

The Gas Man Cometh

Eventually.

We have just spent 4 weeks without our boiler.

In October we decided it was time for the boiler to have it's annual service. A little man came round from whoever it is we employ for this purpose and he tested this, that and the other. Then, instead of telling us that all was well he mention ed that the flue was rusting and there was contamination and a slight leak of carbon monoxide. He also discovered that the pipe leading from the meter to the boiler was too narrow, (and also for some reason when the boiler was installed some years back they connected the two via the gas hob?!?! Oh, and the governor needs changing. I understand that is something on the meter not a comment about his boss.

He then proceeded to "cap off" the boiler until the repairs were done, leaving us with no hot water and no heating.

So, M and I spent a week discussing who and how we should get the repairs done. This seemed to revolve greatly around the fact that I'm not earning enough money. Once that discussion was finished we got in touch with M's daughter who works in property maintenance and she organised one of her companies to come round and quote. Excellent, it only took 3 days for them to fit in the 10 minute visit. Then, within only another three days they managed to tell G (M's daughter, [this is getting wuite Bond-like with all these initials]}, that it would cost quite a bit but not more than £500 as they hadn't got a price for the parts yet. So two weeks ago it was decided that yes, it had to be done, get on with it.

In the meantime, because we were diverting the external pipework for the flue in order to comply with building regs we had to get permission from our managing agents. Who didn't reply. So we wrote again. They still didn't reply. So we've told them we are doing it and saving that argument up for a later date.

We prepared for the glorious day of repairs by M taking everything out of the kitchen that might get in the way and blocking up the sitting room and me keeping quiet in case we got round to discussing my income again. Spare keys were left with G so they could pick them up and get in whilst we were at work and we looked forward to having heat and showers once more.

No-one turned up. An "emergency" had occurred. So bad was this emergency that it rendered them unable to ring and mention they wouldn't be arriving. (Full marks however for not going for the tried and tested "the clutch has gone on the van" excuse, much loved by the installers of home improvment products). They didn't turn up the next day, or the one after that. Now they weren't even ringing G back.

To cut a very long story down to only a long story, they turned up on Tuesday evening at 6pm, half an hour before we were going our for the evening. But they had the new flue, and the plume kit, and the extention needed, but they'd forgotten the new pipe for the meter/boiler connection. They'd also forgotten how much they were going to charge but it wasn't a problem as they'd emailed G with a price. Except apparently they had forgotten that too as she has never received it. They did however do enough to turn the boiler back on again!

Still, never mind as they now appear to have forgotten to come and get their money last night.

We have learnt three things from this experience.

1) M's grandfather lived in a croft in the Scottish Highlands and never had running hot water in his life. We would not have survived!

2) You know when you eat ice cream and it gives you a head ache that starts at the back of your nasal cavity? If you wash your hair with the shower when you only have freezing cold water you can recreate the aformentioned pain but centered on the top of your neck.

3) Apparently I haven't earnt enough money recently.

Bloody Technology

I've just typed a long post on the trials and tribulations of spending a month without hot water and heating and the computer has deleted it. Pretend you've read it, sympathise, mutter about bloody workmen these days, and be pleased that all is now well.

Right, I'm off to mess around with shelfloads of books again.

Good News. I found it!

Christmas Booking

So, The Wonderful World of Windows is proving to be a charity as I seem to be doing a great deal of working for no financial return. This being the case, and with the impetus of The Magnificent M using "a recurring loud voice to my ear interface", I have decided to get a part time job in the run up to Christmas.

Having perused various job sites I applied to a well known book purveyor and blow me down with a flapping dust cover, they decided they wanted me.

So, come Monday I will be Bookseller To The Gentry at Kingston. Or Richmond.....Chiswick.......Twickenham........Teddington, wherever they want to send me.

It feels like I'm turning over a new leaf.

Yeoman On Call

Not much blogging going on because it's performance week. How this show has ever got on stage amazes me but we are there and last nights audience enjoyed it.

Not much dieting going on because it's performance week. Eating both regularly and eating healthily is too much during this week but then there's a lot of nervous energy expended.

Not much sleep going on because it's performance week. Takes a couple of hours to come down after the performance but there's still work in the morning. Roll on Saturday for a lie-in.

Stones and Glasshouses

Following on from the previous post, I have just heard a well known television personality laying in to Jimmy Saville. Obviously there wasn't the time during their interview to mention the time they tried to defraud the insurance company I worked for with a false claim, and then, when they were told they weren't going to get away with it, threatened to drag us on to a well known consumer programme to teach us a lesson!

Those Who Live By The Sword....

This could have been a long post on the double standards of those who are wading in to the Saville story and all the satellite threads about times past and the fact they obviously feel they live the perfect life in perfect times. They should just remember that in 40 years time people will look back at this period and rip it's morals apart just as easily fro wherever there viewpoint is.

Shrinking

So, that's the first stone gone. The bigger psychological boost comes in 4 pounds time as the weight in stones dips into the 16s. There will then be a real battle on as I consider that s quite a success even though it isn't really.

I've joined the gym as well. I don't mind gyms, I quite like them, much more so than trying to run round the streets or other exercise. I didn't do myself any favours when I did my assessment as my triceps appear to have been brutally beaten by iron bars and put through a mangle. Or maybe it's just that I never use them. As long as I get a reasonable level of fitness and it helps with the weight loss it will be deemed a success. The dreams of a six-pack are long gone and based on the operations of a couple of years back I should imagine the muscle damage would preclude it anyway. I shall have to rely on my natural charm and wit to attract the ladies. (When the Magnificent M isn't watching).

Onwards and Downwards!

Weird World

Today I pressed the wrong button.

I was messing around with the side bar, you will see the new weight loss button, there so I can hopefully get prodded when it starts going back towards zero pounds lost!

And so I inserted the html. Threw in a bit more code. Went mad with br tags.

Then I pressed a button.

Next thing I knew I had a new template, different layout, half my personalised sections had disappeared.

New additions were everything in the world to do with Google!

Worked out how to get the old template back.

Good!

Wasting Away

Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

Triumph Two

Following on from the success of The Olympic Opening Ceremony, last night's Paralympic curtain raiser was just as good. And I've become a fan of Nicola Miles-Wildin who played Miranda.

She's worked with Graeae Theatr company who are about to put on a production at The Southbank Centre. Sorely tempted to go up and see something if she's taking part, and I rarely go to the theatre or at least not for straight acting. I suspect she isn't involved though althougb some of those taking centre stage in the production of Spasticus Autisticus will be. I wonder what Ian Drury would have thought about it? Pleased, I hope.

And good to see Stephen Hawkin given such a major role. The highlight for me being his final words that no matter what, everyone has the ability to excel at something.

And in a last minute dive across the living room to get an apple each, M & I took part in the World's Largest Apple Bite.

Twiggymatic

Well, hardly the shape of Twiggy yet which is as well, although at the moment I've probably got bigger boobs than her. Anyway, I have started once again on yet another diet. Except this time I am using an internet based diet stats site My Fitness Pal plus it's android app partner.

Apart from putting in the wrong start weight as I decided there were only 12 lbs in a stone, it is rather good. I've completed a whole day without having "cheated" by not counting something. Made somewhat easier because I was at home all day we'll see how it goes when I'm out and about and also it's new and exciting and you get to use the bar scanner and allsorts. It does hold a remarkable database of food items though although some of the figures seem a bit suspect. The ones I think don't look quite right I shall check.

As always, my recommended weight is completely unachievable, even at the top end. Starting from 18 stone 3 I am hoping to lose 2 stone and get back to what I consider my cruising weight of 16:3 with a waist measurement around 34 inches. Ideally from there I take another stone off and get back to my "fighting" weight of 15:3 but I'll not sweat, probably literally, if I don't reach that. To get to the recommended BMI of 25 maximum though I need to hit 13 stone 5! I was that once during my adult life. I was 23, had a waist measurement of 24 inches and played squash 5 times a week. My knees would be hard pushed these days to stand up to playing tiddlywinks 5 times a week!

I shall bore you with the occasional update as and when. I don't see why I should be the only one to suffer!

Rural Charm

Yesterday was a choice. Do we go to Wells Next The Sea and carry on round the coast to Kings Lynn or head inland to a picturesque market town.

The latter won. We headed for Fakenham.

All I really knew about Fakenham was that it had a racecourse, and as there isn't a meeting till October it must be a National Hunt course I guess. What I do know now is that the racecourse must be all that is going for it.

Monday saw quite a few shops closed but of those open the hairdresser was staffed by young girls sporting the popular hair colouring of dark hair with the bottom 3 or 4 inched dyed blonde, but not white blonde, a sort of murky creamy yellow colour. We passed the tattoo parlour where a young woman was having her thighs tattooed on the couch by the window. Luckily she was wering underwear otherwise it could have doubled as a gynaecologists examination room. Everything else appeared to be either a charity shop, a discount store or a fried chicken/fish and chip/chinese take out. (That's not a choice of one of the three but an amalgamation of all three).

To be fair I guess it is no worse than most other small towns around the UK, nor for that matter, suburbs of London and we did feel rather snobbish. Not so snobbish though that we didn't avail ourselves the chance to buy a set of measuring spoons/cups from the discount store for the princely sum of £1.25.

The Horizontal Sticks

I went to the local quiz last night.

There was a question on "which piece of equipment did Beth Tweddle win her Olympic medal on"? I of course answered the asymetric bars.

I was marked as wrong.

They had the answer, the uneven bars.

Don't be ridiculous I said.

On checking the news reports this morning I discover they are now called the uneven bars.

We have dumbed down gymnastic equipment!

Roll on the kickybally season!

Early Warning.

Visited Latham's Store in Potter Heigham today.

They have their christmas deorations on sale!

Not even Tesco have managed that yet.

Epic Fail

Nope, the mojo is still missing. I could be blogging about my trip to the Olympic Park last Tuesday or the meal at Bel Canto, the opera based restaurant, on Wednesday evening, but the fingers/brain/will interface just ain't working.

I'm off on holiday on Monday for the best part of a fortnight so maybe I'll find one somewhere up in the Norfolk Broads. I thought I better mention I'm going otherwise you wouldn't realise I'd gone. I'm not taking my laptop so maybe I will come back refreshed and raring to go. And if by some chance I get over this slump as I'm staying at my dads I can use their computer.

Keep Calm and Carry On.

Kennamatic to Earth

Well, I've been a quiet bunny haven't I.

Not because there haven't been things to blog about but mainly because I never have time to blog them, Or at least, other things have more priority in those times when I could be blogging. Must try harder as Messrs Hayter, Osborne, Davies, Collins, McNee, Wakely and other teachers at school would, and most definitely did, say.

So the headlines have been;

Work has been busy. Even better, I've even managed to sell stuff so there is income.

Being chairman of HLO is time consuming! Not only that, I had to have a talk with someone to remove them from the role in the next production because they aren't up to it. Not his fault, he should never have been cast. Our MD is skating on very thin ice!

As well as having Linda homeless a mate t work, 69 and suffering from a heart complaint has ended up homeless and his council are being as much use as Linda's.In addition, whilst helping at a gig I ended up sorting out another homeless person who turned up on the door who was rather ill. I'm thinking of changing my name to Mother Theresa! The percentage of Buddhist in me does however like to think that maybe the new sales and income might be karmicly linked to helping the homeless.

And on the music front I've been helping out at gigs for
Claude Bourbon.
Neads & Prince.
Ian McNabb
All the above for Helen Martin


Still, who knows. Maybe I'll blog again soon.

Food for Thought

Well, the world of blogging has hit the headlines today. I shouldn't think anyone is now unaware of NeverSeconds, a blog by a 9 year old girl reviewing her school lunches. It looks like she will now be allowed to carry on with her blog as the council appears to have come to it's senses.

Two points I would like to make though.

1) The council were very quick to attack a nine year old who hadn't really done anything, (the problem coming from a national newspaper who used the blog to make a point), in order to protect it's employees, the "dinner ladies". Yet, when a councils' other employees, teachers and TA's, are attacked by students online, they seem somewhat reticent to get involved as those students have the right to self-expression. It seems it'd easier to deal with a 9 year old than a group of bolshie teenagers.

2) Amongst the many directives that the government has sent down to schools are to get children engaged with the online world in a responsible way, to encourage children to be involved in activities that widen their horizons and for a school to have links with a school in another part of the world. If you read her blog whe appears to be very intelligent in the way she approaches her blogging, is talking to people all over the world and engaging with children around the world and encouraging them to join in with her idea. In addition she is raising money for feeding kids in Africa. Still, at least she is learning early that in Britain for all the talk of encouraging success nobody likes someone who is. And that girl is a real success.

Credit Where Credit's Due

Firstly, I seem to have completely lost the art of posting. Without the discipline of having to post every day I never seem to get round to it. Anyway......

I had a phone call from "3" today. Following up their calls of the last few days when the leave a message but not saying who they are. It's actually their collections department because I owe them two rental for my online dongle which I asked them to cancel as I no longer need it. The person who rang obviously reckons themselves as a credit controller. They know how to get money out of people - you threaten them that their credit rating will be damaged if they don't pay up. A great tactic if the person you are threatening actually gives a toss about their credit rating. I don't. Mine's so destroyed that a debt of £39.00 probably isn't going to bring me to my knees.

He spent a great deal of time telling me that they would have to put a black mark against my name and I spent a lot of time replying that he was welcome to do that but I wasn't going to be paying him any money today. So we spent 15 minutes in a repetitive argument where he became more agitated that his one weapon was failing miserably. So we left it there, with a promise from the nice young gentleman that he will be ringing again. No doubt to tell me that they are still considering putting a black mark against my name.

You what?

As most pubs have no sound running on their television sets they usually have what were once called sub-titles but now have a different name that I can't remember. Quite often they have BBC news on where I go and it is becoming obvious that the text is being done by voice recognition programs as there are hours of fun to be had just watching the mistakes. The best one so far was a report on the Olympic Flame being brought to the UK which informed us that "David Beckham set alight the Olympic Porch".

Bloody Arsonist!

Movable Feast

I saw some Jaffa Oranges today in Tesco.

From South Africa.

They'd just be Oranges then.

Rested and Returned

Well there we go from 3 months blogging to nearly a week off.

I haven't done any "personal" blogging for nearly two months, so what's been happening.

Not a great deal so you haven't missed much.

I nearly got fired for poor sales, which would be fair enough, but they didn't. It might not make any difference anyway as I might have landed a new job. Having worked for an insurance company, a double glazing company and a bank I might be going to the other evil group, estate agents! I won't be on the selling side though. They need my skills in property management at the group headquarters. Assuming all goes well and I get it, it will be the first secure monthly wage packet I have brought in since 1983.

It's audition week for our next production so I'm throwing myself into the fray in order to give my public what they crave. I've decided to audition for three parts which is a bit stupid because I've now got three songs to learn instead of one. Heigh Ho.

Other than that there's nothing to trouble you with so that's it for now.

D.I.D. - Day 30

So here we are, the last day. I haven't left my favourite song till last, just a song that I like and that has a line the I relate to. Halfway through is the line "Cathy I'm lost", I said, though I knew she was sleeping. "I'm hungry and aching and I don't know why". I've always thought that a powerful line and I feel the same and have for some time. Maybe it's just a midlife crisis, who knows. Anyway, enjoy the whole song.

America - Simon & Garfunkel

In addition, I get to take a book. It will be my favourite one, The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett.

And as for a luxury, a piano, because surely if I had enough time I could finally learn to ply it with some measure of skill.

And that rounds off my month of Desert Island Discs. As for April, just so Masher doesn't worry about my sanity, I am returning to normal blogging as and when. Three months solid has been interesting but if I went any longer I'd be thinking about trying to complete a year and that would be madness!

D.I.D. - Day 29

Today I am picking 5 records I am taking with me for one express purpose. If I become very frustrated with my lot on the desert island I shall want to smash things and what better than these five records. They all have one thing in common. They are records that my compatriots feel they have to dance to at a wedding or other social occasion. It is music for Dads to relive their youth to. They are;

We Are The Champions by Queen - I'm sure when they wrote this there was a very good reason and I'm sure it wasn't so that slightly inebriated 50 years olds had something to sway to and sing at the top of their voices.

Brown Sugar by The Rolling Stones - Just what you need. Two dozen dads strutting round the floor like Mick Jagger, pouting their lips and punching the air.

Imagine by John Lennon - For when they have too much to drink and become maudlin.

Simply The Best by Tina Turner. More strutting I'm afraid, but in a vaguely feminine way.

And worst of the lot: Hi Ho Silver Lining by Jeff Beck. Dear God, whatever possessed the Muse of Music to allow this to be written. I have been known to walk out of rooms when this gets played. And I only get as far as that because three minutes doesn't allow me to escape the country.

I can put up with virtually any other piece of music rather than the 5 above. Stockhausen, thrash metal, the entire S Club 7 back catalogue, all can be suffered, but not those. I'd forgotten I am allowed to take a luxury with me, I shall decide what it is tomorrow, but a very large hammer to smash the above might be a good choice.

D.I.D. - Day 28

I have to be careful here not to go into a major Grumpy Old Man rant but one of the things I reckon is wrong with life these days is that kids are treated as adults too early. One embodiment of that is that there is very little children's music about after nursery rhymes lose their appeal. One day it's Baa Baa Black Sheep, assuming that is still allowable, the next it's all shaking your booty and pimping lord knows what.

Back in the day though Saturday Morning's were set aside for Junior Choice, and I suspect before that it must have been Uncle Mac, but that's even before my time. There would usually be a piece of classical music, often The Dambusters, and a pop record by no-one more controversial than The Seekers or Marmalade. The rest would be records that were thought to appeal to a young audience. I'm a Pink Toothbrush by Max Bygraves, anything by Rolf Harris, Burl Ives' Ugly Bug Ball or Big Rock Candy Mountain and a record I cannot find which was The Mastersingers singing The Highway Code. There were a couple of big numbers though. One was Danny Kaye's version of Tubby The Tuba and the other was the one I've plumped for.

Sparky's Magic Piano - Henry Blair.

Tomorrow, a bit of a twist.

D.I.D. - Day 27

Growing up in a house that had more than it's fair share of Big Band music playing it would be hard not to be influenced by Frank Sinatra. The greatest exponent of Swing singing there has been. Swing is very under-rated. Technically very difficult to do as well as Frank did it. You only have to have witnessed Robbie Williams attempt to realise that just because you have Sinatra's band behind you it don't mean a thing. As in It don't mean a thing if it aint got that swing.

What track to pick though. In the end I chose one that I like singing. And I aren't much good at it either. More than a song, you can picture the scene as he goes through the verses. You can seethe bar, the smoke, the slouch on the bar and the bottle of scotch just by the empty glass.

Ol' Blue Eyes might never be back but whilst people appreciate great singers he'll never disappear either.

In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning.

D.I.D. - Day 26

If I had thought ahead I would have kept the track from the Sparks concert until today as the friend I went with celebrates his birthday on this very day. But I didn't. So that's that. But as he lurks on this site on a regular basis, and as I haven't sent him a card - Happy Birthday A.J.!

Right, on with today. This is another track I became aware of through television. In fact if you read the blurb on the link it mentions it came to general prominence when it was used in Grey's Anatomy. I can't say I've ever been taken by any of their other songs. At one of our recent concerts someone sang this and murdered it. Luckily I have expunged his version from my memory!

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

D.I.D. - Day 25

Whether it's because I grew up listening to music from the 40s and 50s I appreciate a good lyric. One of the best wordsmiths is Billy Bragg. politically we are on other sidss of a very wide divide but I admire his song writing abilities greatly. Today's song has two of my favourite ever lyrics.

I loved you then as I love you still,
Though I put you on a pedestal you put me on the p.ill

and

I saw a shooting star last night, I wished and wished but it was just a satellite,
It's hard to wish on space hardware, I wish, I wish, I wish you were there.

And the whole thing is here. Kirsty MacColl - New England

D.I.D. - Day 24

Today's track comes from the work of Elton John. With the amount of songs he has recorded there was bound to be a number making the shortlist. Sacrifice used to be my favourite although there was a track on his first album called The Greatest Discovery which is very good. He had a track called Empty Garden that he wrote about John Lennon that I like but I'm going for a recent song. He had a slight renaissance a few years back when he released Songs From The West Coast. From that cd is a track that Marj and I count as our song.

Original Sin - Elton John

D.I.D. - Day 23

The other day I linked to Boys of Summer but i have another song I like driving to. It's probably near the top of most peoples "driving songs". I defy anyone to be out in a car or on a bike, listen to Bat Out of Hell, and stick to the speed limit. That song is just made for ramping up the throttle to max + 1. It is probably the quintessential Jim Steinman composition. I wish they'd bring out a Jim Steinman compilation because there's some good stuff he's written for some diverse singers although his tie-up with Meatloaf is probably his most well known. And this version is even more overproduced and over the top than normal as it's live with full symphony orchestra backing.

I would reckon this is the nearest I ever get to rock music, the one genre that I just don't have any connection to. Well it's heavy metal I can't stand really and this is as heavy as I go.

Bat Out Of Hell - Meatloaf

D. I. D. - Day 22

Well, it's Sunday, and what better to day to share my favourite hymn with you. It was a difficult choice. I recently sang a different version of my old school hymn "I Vow To Thee My Country" which I preferred to the original tune. "Cwm Rhondda", or "Guide Me O Thou Great Redeemer" is another at the top of the list. But in the end this one has the edge. Once again I have managed to pick a piece of music which will be at my funeral, as it has been at many peoples.

The Day Thou Gavest Lord is Ended

D. I. D. - Day 21

I haven't linked to anything recent so far. And as music these days seems so manufactured it isn't surprising. But last year I was impressed by Christina Perri who writes her own songs and plays the piano. At least she has some talent. This is the single that became my single of 2011.

Jar of Hearts

D. I. D. - Day 20

Back to the teenage years again tonight.

I chose this track for two reasons. One, I think it had the right amount of sadness and angst for my teenage years during which I suffered quite a bit of sadness and angst at the splitting up f adolescent relationships. And secondly because I think Karen Carpenter had a wonderful voice and I had a crush on her. Actually, the guitar solo was great for playing air guitar to as well.

Goodbye to Love.

D. I. D. - Day 19

A few days back we had an Eagles track and tonight it's one by Don Henley. This is my favourite summer song for driving to. Even more so when we can have the roof down on the 307. I liked it before I ever really listened to the lyrics and then when I did I liked it even more.

For tonight's delectation I give you.....

The Boys Of Summer

D.I.D. - Day 18

Back to the world of opera today.

There is a trio in the Mozart Opera "Cosi Fan Tutti" that I really want to sing. I'm never going to get the chance to do it on stage for real so my best bet is to work it into a concert. Just so you know, I want to be the bloke!

Soave Sia Il Vento

D. I. D. - Day 17

My Auntie Hilda was Jim Reeves biggest fan. She must have had every record he ever made, including all the compilations. She absolutely adored him. When I was young I can't say I took a lot of notice of him but later on I started to appreciate what a good voice he had.

Today's choice is my favourite. If you're listening up above Auntie, this ones for you.

He'll Have To Go - Jim Reeves

D.I.D. - Day 16

Today's choice goes back to my youth club days where we danced only rarely. But there was one soul record that would get played and we would take to the floor and be white soul boys.

When one of us had our 50th we played it once more. Arms and legs went everywhere. People fell over. We got on down but the getting on up again was proving to be a problem. I don't think we'll be doing that again!

King Curtis - Memphis Soul Stew

D.I.D - Day 15

Today's selection has no real story to it. It's just a track I like. Although I do particularly like the opening line.

The Eagles - The Last Resort.

D.I.D. - Day 14

Like most people I probably became aware of Enya when she released Orinoco Flow as a single. We bought a couple of cd's of hers. The choice I decided to make was between two tracks, both for me which revolve round death. (He says, on a cheery note). The first is On Your Shore. A song I have picked for my funeral. I'm plumping for a cremation and this is the song I won't to go through the doors to. The track I have actually gone for was played on the radio one morning.

It was the morning of the Kegworth Air Crash in Leicestershire, on January 8th 1989. I herd it on the 7:00 am news whilst driving on the motorway to wherever I was picking up that morning. It was still a bit snowy and felt a little more Christmassy than Christmas did. Simon Mayo was on Radio 1 and as they came out of the news, he played this. No intro, just the report and without the three "vocal chords" it went straight into the vocal. I cried.

Oiche Chiun (Silent Night) - Enya

D.I.D. - Day 13

Back to the world of classical music for today's selection. I have no idea when I first heard this piece. I'm not a great lover of Schubert so t must have been as a stand alone movement on a programme or cd. But wherever I heard it first I'm glad I did.

There are a number of pieces I find emotional, but usually for one small part, like the last few phrases of the Mendelssohn and the Bruch Violin Concerto's. Nimrod is quite moving but that stems really because we use it in association with the War Dead s much as for the music itself. This choice though seems to be relaxing for most people but I just find it incredibly sad as well.

Enjoy!

Schubert Quintet in C - 2nd Movement : Adagio

D.I.D. - Day 12

No more chronological ordering. The rest will just be music I love.

I have no idea when I got into Barbra Streisand, if you know what I mean. Maybe it was being dragged along to the remake of A Star Is Born or from hearing her on the radio over the years, but I went out and got one of her LPs. An LP I had for a number of years until I left it one evening on top of a night storage heater. The next day it was a somewhat unusual shape.

There were a number of good tracks including New York State of Mind which I didn't know before and was very nearly my choice, but in the end I went for the title track. It's a great example of the dynamics of her voice and singing technique.

Superman - Barbra Streisand

D.I.D. - Day 11

Blackpool gave me the chance to do something else that I hadn't done before. No, not that. Although I had been to clubs when I was in Birmingham it wasn't the same as what I consider "clubbing". Heaven & Hell in Blackpool was brilliant. I love dance music and for me it was at it's best in the very early 2000s. What made Blackpool so good was that no-one bothered what age you were so I could just blend in and enjoy the music as it was meant to be, 120bpm and bloody loud. It was the first time since being a teen that I wanted to be back in my teens and enjoying the present day music. I've never taken any drugs, and didn't then even though I was offered them, but I knew if I was in my teens and in that environment I would have taken ecstacy. The only time I have ever understood how good a drug could potentially make you feel.

Anyway, the song that for me sums up that entire period, is.....

Castles In The Sky - Ian van Dahl

D.I.D. - Day 10

In 1999 I gave in to a mate who had been nagging me for years to go to Blackpool for the weekend, He promised me wine, women and song. And apart from the wine appearing to be mainly lager, he was pretty much right. I've blogged before about that weekend but due to blogger destroying old archives it no longer exists and to be honest I can't begin to go through it all again. What I can tell you is you've seen nothing until you've seen two or three hundred drunk young ladies go mad when they hear the first few bars of this

Man, I Feel Like a Woman - Shania Twain

This record, for me, is Blackpool and will bring back memories for ever. All of which I would have to say are good ones.

D.I.D. - Day 9

One of my favourite programmes on tv was Morse. I'd never read one of the books and still haven't because the book and the tv episodes have some major differences. We went to see performance of music from Morse by Barrington Pheloung, the composer of the theme music at which Colin Dexter, author, compered. From then on we spent as much time looking out for his cameo role in each episode as we did studying the story line.

My favourite episode was Masonic Mysteries. It revolves around a case that involves the Masons and more importantly for me, around a performance of The Magic Flute. Up until this point I had no interest in opera but one of the lines in the show referred to characters called Monastatos and Sarastro and I was interested to know who they were and how the story worked.

The next day I was down to the library and I borrowed a copy of The Magic Flute and read the English translation. Mozart in general is an easy listen and this proved the case as it isn't Grand Opera, where even the "spoken" parts are sung. Normal opera is a little more like a musical. The standout piece of music is a well known aria for a colleratura soprano. A fairly rare breed. Even if you don't like opera you can appreciate the skill. Listen and you'll see why!

The Queen of the Night Aria

D.I.D. - Day 8

As I mentioned yesterday, I did a few things at work which didn't go down well with the powers that be. Or at least the powers at local level. After 3 years we decided to part company but not until I had three months of full on aggravation. I got through it by getting up each morning and before getting in the car putting todays record on the record player, plugging in the headphones, and turning up the volume.

Anarchy In The UK - Sex Pistols

For all the hype that went along with them they were actually a much better group than they were given credit for. The music theme here of staying on one note for quite long stretches repeated itself when John Lydon aka Johnny Rotten formed Public Image Limited which refined the process somewhat. Indeed, I love this song so much that had I only got the normal 8 discs to take this would have been one of them.

Anyone fancy a pogo?

D.I.D. - Day 7

Moving on now to my work years, I had a couple of years with Nat West Bank and then moved on to General Accident, one of the big 7 insurance companys. I started out in Ealing but then moved to Birmingham to take up an assistant accountants role in that branch. This was in the first couple of years of the 1980s and The New Romantics were the fashionable music genre. Throughout my teenage years I had only done local school or youth club discos and never any of the local clubs so when I hit Birmingham that world opened up to me as part of my social life. There were two clubs we all used to go to. Faces, which was at Five Ways in Edgebaston and The Rum Runner on Broad Street. The former was much more mainstream chart music, though somewhat tinged with New Romanticism as were the charts, the latter was heavily New Romantic. And I through myself well into it. I had the clothing, the double breasted shirts, neck scarves, pixie boots, jodhpurs. And all the make-up went on as well. Luckily for me there are no photos remaining of that time!

The big groups of the time were Duran Duran, Human League, Visage, Ultravox, Heaven 17. I had my hair like Phil Oakey

Not seen by the powers at General Accident as suitable hairstyling for an accountant, more of which tomorrow.

The song I really liked from then was by Soft Cell, their biggest single being Tainted Love, but I preferred Say Hello, Wave Goodbye.

I never saw them live but, a couple of years back, at Jools Holland at Kew his special guest was Marc Almond. I amazed all the other 40 and 50 year olds round me by singing along with every word of all his hits. Half of them had never heard of him. For 20 minutes I was 30 years younger.

D.I.D. - Day 6

Moving on a few years and eventually I got engaged and then, on 21st July 1979, I was married to Gail. We'd been going out for 3 years when we got hitched and out friends supplied the Disco for the reception which our parents paid for at Daniels in West Ealing. We chose our song for our first dance. We both loved the record but was perhaps a strange choice as it revolves around a couple breaking up. Maybe it was a little portentious as our marriage actually only lasted 2 years in reality although it was a further 6 years before we divorced. I still love the song.

Stay With Me - Yvonne Elliman

D.I.D. - Day 5

Whilst Sparks were my first live gig, they weren't in the end my favourite. I saw Queen play live three times, and good though they were, they still couldn't snatch my personal no 1 live gig spot. Nor could Procul Harum, Elton John, Kevin Coyne, Rick Wakeman nor even the fabled Bob Kerr's Whoopee Band. My favourite gig ever was at The Wembley Arena at the promotional tour for their Out of the Blue double LP. And they played my favourite track.

Wild West Hero - ELO.

Listening to this you can hear how my grounding in classical music and choral singing would draw me to it. This was released back in the day when albums were awaited with baited breath. Not then the idea of previewing tracks for months before so on the release date everybody knows all the tracks. This LP is famous for the fact that Kenny Everett had a radio show on Capital Radio on the day it came out. The only music he played that day was this LP, in it's entirety. Twice.

D.I.D. - Day 4

Around the same time that I was making my way into the world of amorous liaisons I also went to see my first live gig. Well, first live gig for pop music having already been to the proms.

A mate and I, one who I've mentioned here before went off to see Sparks at Hammersmith Odeon, now the Hammersmith Apollo. Strangely enough, having seen them in concert, I saw Ron & Russell Mael on Oxford Street a couple of days later. I'm pleased to say I didn't make a fool of myself and run up and ask for an autograph. I went to the gig on the strength of their "Kimono My House" LP but within a couple of years I had started going out with my future wife and she introduced me to their earlier catalogue when the line up for the group was the wonderfully monickered; Mael, Mael, Mankey, Mankey, Fienstein. A better name for a firm of Solicitors or Theatrical Agents I have yet to discover. However, the track for today is the one they are probably best associated with.

Sparks - This Town Ain't Big Enough.

D.I.D. - Day 3

So, from 1968 to 1972 I pretty much only listened to classical music. But then I started drifting in to the world of Radio 1 and Top of the Pops. By now I was going out with the odd girl or two, some being more odd than others. We had started a youth club when I was 14 and so there were records playing most of the time and a bit of dancing now and then. Not that I was one to be seen on the dance floor. But when it came to slow dances, assuming I could pick up enough courage to ask someone to dance, preferably female, there was one record that stand out in the memories of all my friends. It was our slow dance.

Me & Mrs Jones - Billy Paul.

D.I.D. - Day 2

The next major musical influence of my life came when I hit Grammar School. My music teacher, Neville Bower was an ex concert pianist and composer. Everyone supposedly has one teacher who influenced them greatly and for me it was him. I absolutely worshiped him. And so started my love affair with classical music, but in particular, choral works. Within a year of joining we performed Handel's Messiah. In the subsequent years we also performed Beethoven's Mass in C and Brahm's German Requiem. Not bad going considering our age.

There was, I discovered in later years, something else about out performance of The Messiah that was important. Being an all boys school we had to swell our numbers with some of the girls from two other schools. Although I didn't meet The Magnificent M until we were in our late 40's we had in fact been very close to meeting 35 years earlier.

This picture is a crop from the official picture of our performance. I am below the white arrow, M to the left of the pink arrow as you view it, not 5 foot away. But what makes it even more unlikely that we didn't meet was because the girl to the right of M had been a close childhood friend of mine until we hit secondary school. We didn't see each other then but she became M's best friend. Had I have kept in touch I would almost definitely have met M then. Although it's probably as well I didn't cos we woldn't have been together now, and I suspect we wouldn't actually have got together then.

Anyway, the seeds that were sown for singing then remain with me now. So what to choose. I was very tempted to go with a section of The German Requiem called "Behold, All Flesh Is As The Grass" but it's quite heavy going and lasts 15 minutes so I thought I'd go for something shorter from The Messiah. Not The Hallelujah Chorus which I wish they'd stop playing at every opportunity but the last piece of all from the Oratorio, The Amen Chorus.

D. I. D. - Day 1

As is customary with Desert Island Disc I shall start with the earliest memory I have of listening to music. Indeed, so early is it in my musical memories that I only have fleeting glimpses of that time.

I would have been no more than three or four. My maternal grandparents still had their greengrocers shop in Hyde Park, Leeds. My mind remembers only two things about that shop. The first being that I would spend hours sat in the vegetable bins helping myself to fresh peas from the pod. The second is that on the landing upstairs was a tall gramophone unit. The turntable was on top with a cupboard underneath which held my grandparents collection of 78s. My favourite, one that my mother tells me was the only thing I wanted to listen to, incessantly, was Magic Moments by Perry Como. It was to this song that I first started singing. And annoyingly for those around me, that singing consisted of just the two words of the title. How delighted they must have been as I started my recital, for the first 5 seconds, and then I suspect the novelty wore thin very, very swiftly.



Born Pierino Ronald Como, he soon had the nickname Perry. This would have been his centenary birthday but he died in 2001, just short of his 92nd birthday. He was a remarkably successful career. One of Americas biggest recording and tv stars, you can read more here should you so wish.

Altogether now.... Magic Moments.....Magic Moments......Magic Moments....... Or click here for the real thing.

And Finally....

So, that concludes the month of news posts. What have we found out other than I've become an old curmudgeonly blogger. (As oppose to a younger curmudgeonly blogger). One thing it confirms is that the majority of "news" is just bad news. Even looking at the top 5 stories each day there was very little to celebrate. Even the positive stories had a pessimistic twist in the tail. Certainly teachers seem to be under attack more than anyone else at the moment but maybe that is because I am more attuned to stories relating to the teaching profession.

When I used to be involved in the "self-improvement" movement one of the things they always preached was to avoid listening to the news, it will only bring you down. And I would say, looking at this months news, they were pretty right.

So tomorrow we have a new month. I've always thought Desert Island Discs would be fun but 8 records is way too few, so you're going to be getting 30 of them starting tomorrow.

It Almost Might Possibly Be True

Attacks of biting and kicking teachers are on the rise

Not much to say about the news today. The above story was followed by the statement that it is possibly down to bad parenting. Really? Well let's not commit to criticising parents. Heaven forbid they should take any responsibility for the raising of their children.

Secondly, panic buying of fuel. FFS get a life. There isn't even a date for a strike yet and petrol stations are running dry. Really, it's quite pathetic.

Strike Whilst the Iron's Hot

Petrol supplies are running out as people panic buy.

As an expert said today, it doesn't take much to make the British panic buy. And he's not wrong. People queuing to buy petrol because of a strike which hasn't been called yet. And no, the government didn't help by suggesting it might be worth filling up. Interestingly, a girl who works at a petrol station, was saying that it is very obvious that people are driving around with minimal amounts of petrol. They just fill up with a tenner at a time. And I'm pone of them. I'd like to take the MPs advice but I haven't got the odd £100 in my pocket even if they have.

Anyway, there are a few other strikes available for those who don't own cars.

Tube drivers to strike during Olympics if they don't get an extra £1000 each for doing their normal job. The only transport in London which won't be affected by the games.

Baggage Handlers on strike at Stanstead over Easter weekend. Not that they want to inconvenience passengers, it's just obviously that they hadn't realised that weekend was Easter and the busiest one for ages. How unlucky was that!

It's just a pity that politicians don't go on strike, it might give us all the chance to recover for a bit. Actually, would it make much difference if they did go on strike?

I Predict a Riot

A report into last summer's riots show a lack of inclusion in society as a reason.

Yes, yes, we all know that. They all come from broken homes, they can't get jobs, there are loads of what are called "forgotten families", about half a million I reckon they said, although I'm not sure what "forgotten families" are. And then finally, and where in the universe did they pluck this from because it is in the same report, schools who fail to teach young people to read and write should be fined.

O.K. First bit. Every time anybody under the age of 30 carries out a crime it's because they don't feel included in society, it's everyone else's fault, etc etc etc. It never changes. And everyone with half a brain cell realises that there were many, many, other people in the same position who managed not to riot. They can't get a job? Well try being in your late 50's and getting one, but we manage not to riot. My ex , as you know, is homeless, living on mimimal benefits and manages not to riot, even when it was happening outside her window. It's just excuses. And the problem is we live in a society so full of "do-gooders" they fall over themselves to get as many excuses in as possible.

Next. These forgotten families. How do they get forgotten. I'm assuming the kids go to school, or at least, they are registered at one, so they won't be forgotten by the education service. Interestingly there was another report out today to do with school truancy. 400,000 children miss more than a month's worth of school each year. Now, I know this is a big jump of conjecture but we are talking 500,000 "forgotten families and 400,000 truants. Perhaps we might have some correlation between the two for at least some of them.

The most amazing bit is fining schools for not teaching kids to read and write. Do they not think teachers try? What has that got to do with rioting? And what is it with this government and their need to attack teaching every day. Some kids can't read and write for a number of reasons but it isn't for the want of teachers trying. And why isn't any other occupation fined for nor carrying out part of it's job. My ex has been waiting 6 months for a bank statement to finally be sent out to her. How difficult can that be. Every two weeks there is another excuse. Why is there no fine there? Why is there no fine for the Council who caused the problems the other day? I know teachers from a number of schools and I can tell you this. Most of them are getting mightily fed up of it. And the standard of teachers coming in are not as good as they could be. And the pupils are only ever going to be as good as the teachers are. Oh, and this other report thinks schools should crack down on truancy, rather than making the parents deal with it.

Anyway, that ends the report into last summers riots but don't worry if you missed them I'm sure there'll be another one along soon. Followed by the same excuses.

The Wonderful World of Research

The Video Game Licensing Board have discovered that children are playing games rated for higher ages and often with their parents.

Well, quite honestly I don't think that kids playing games for older age groups is anything new. It's part of being a youngster to do stuff that is above your age group. However, it is the role of the parent to try to stoop it with an occasional blind eye not to bloody participate!

I think I might have mentioned a youngster at M's school who has been diagnosed autistic although to be honest he isn't. Well, part of the way he displays his "autism" is in bad behaviour. This bad behaviour revolves around simulated extreme violence and sexual activity. How does he know about these things? Because he watches DVDs with his dad. DVDs of extreme violence and sexual activity. Stuff that is rated 18. Hardly suitable for a 9 year old.

Yes, before you ask, of course the school have confronted the parents. Their response? "But he enjoys them"! Lots of giggling from both of them. No amount of talking from the school makes a blind bit of difference.

Earlier to day I was chatting with a colleague whose 17 year old son is at college. Late last year he was behind with his course work and home work. The college put him onto a contract whereby if he got behind again he was out. So yesterday, he gets a call from the college to say his son is behind again and what should they do about it. So Peter says "tell him that he has until the end of The Easter holiday to catch up. If he hasn't caught up, give him a weeks notice and if he's still behind you chuck him out!". The College then proceeded to panic in case they actually had to do it. They said they weren't even sure they could do it. They also said it's the first time they've had a parent asking them to chuck a son out rather than begging to keep them in.

There's 10 years near enough between those two boys, but a lifetimes experience away between the two styles of parenting.

Welcome to Britain

and quite honestly, you are welcome to it.

My news story today is off brief in as much as it hasn't made it onto Hearts News or any other media, but it is news personal to me and to say I want everyone to know about it doesn't begin to cover it.

As some of you know my ex partner is homeless. When she lost the last place she lived in the council's Homeless Persons Unit had to house her. She is presently in temporary accommodation awaiting a permanent home. Now, the Housing Benefit department have decided that she has not been entitled to housing benefit since the day she received them up to and including this month! That's three years and about £20,000.00.

What planet are these people living on! How can a person who is homeless, lives on £70 pounds a week income support and has no savings not be entitled to housing benefit. She is, but someone has cocked up big time and I am not going to put up with it anymore. I am sick of us having to spend time dealing with Hounslow Council who quite honestly haven't got a clue about anything. You can't speak to the person who did this because there are no names attached.You can't go in and see someone because no-one in revenue services is available to see members of the public.

Now, I actually don't care how racist this sounds but, as one of the boroughs in which Heathrow falls, if anyone flies in to the airport without a place to live they will be housed. This isn't something I have read in The Mail, this is actually what is happening. I know other white, British, elderly people who have lived here all their life who are now homeless and are being treated diabolically whilst foreigners come in and take what's available. Anyone who doesn't believe me is welcome to book an appointment with me and I will take you there so you can see it with your own eyes, I have no reason to distort the truth as the chattering classes in the home counties wish to do whilst they think "how wonderful it is that they have an Asian family running the convenience store in the village"! I've grown up since I was a small boy in a multi-cultural society but even the Polish I know who are third, fourth and fifth generation are sick to death of the influx of Eastern Europeans who are taking over their lives. Some of these long standing Polish families are returning to Poland to get away from it. Ealing is now predominately Eastern European, Hanwell has the biggest Somali population outside Somalia.

And what do the government do about it, nothing other than to call each other names over who funds who and keep lining their pockets.

Expect headlines to do with "West London man goes berserk in Council Offices" in the very near future!

First Among Equals

Britain's Got Talent just edged The Voice as the nations favourite Saturday Night reality show.

Well, having never seen the Voice as that was the first episode ever, and by token of the fact I wouldn't watch BGT under pain of death I wouldn't know if one should be favourite or not.

What does occur to me is how like football this rivalry works.

It seems to me that both Simon Cowell and Alex Ferguson have the same way of liaising with the public. A sort of outrage at facts that, in the main, they have brought about.

Alex Ferguson spends most of his time vociferously defending his players no matter what they do wrong. They can kick the opposition to kingdom come and Ferguson bemoans how his players are innocent and people are just jealous. Then the moment someone gives one of his players a slightly hard stare and he's screaming that his players are being targeted and the opposition are a bunch of dirty swine who should be banned from the game.

This week Simon Cowell did his normal thing of appointing a judge to one of his shows and then being outraged by their behaviour. This time it was to do with new judge David Walliams. Having put someone on a panel who is a comic that specialises in sexual inuendo it seems a little churlish to then complain that he makes sexual innuendos.

But more than that, I can't understand how the Great British public take either of them seriously.

Inconsistency

1 dead in M5 pile-up.

The report on this crash has so many inconsistencies. The coach driver has been charged with dangerous driving yet the coach had supposedly broken down. It was also said to have been on the hard shoulder, yet the lorry hit the near side rear quarter.

Whether it is an amalgamation of rumour and conjecture I don't know but the news editor really should have sorted it out.

The Truth Will Out

A US Coroner has released the details of what killed Whitney Houston.

Too often when a celebrity loses their life the cause of death is masked in a more sanitised form in as much as the real cause is missed out in favour of the final problem. So well done, if that is a relevant comment in such a matter as this, to Whitney Houston's family, publicists and everyone else on actually giving the truth about her death. The official verdict is from drowning following a heart attack brought on by the use of cocaine immediately before.

How easy it would have been to just say she drowned. Or had a heart attack that caused her to drown.

Maybe it might sink in to just one other persons brain that drug use isn't sfe. But then again, it probably won't

Keeping It In The Family

Stella McCartney is to design the Olympic Kit

This is the first time that Great Britain has used a recognised designer for the Summer Olympic Kit. I can see why. Really you want a materials technician to be devising kit. The right material covering the right amount of body might just shave that last 0.01 second off your time meaning the difference between gold or silver, a World record as oppose to a Games record.

This is a Stella McCartney number.

Not too over the top for a fashion design but perhaps a little impractical for the women's shot putt.

So we'll wait to see.

And isn't her dad due to play the opening ceremony? Perhaps they got both of them on a Buy 1 McCartney get 1 free deal. Pity Linda isn't still about, she could have been Official Provider of Vegetarian Food to the Olympics.

Following yesterdays news that people running with the torch have to pay £200 to keep them I suspect the athletes are waiting to hear how much they might be charged if they want to keep their kits!

Who's a Pretty Boy Then!

The Chancellor is due to present his budget in Parliament today

Alright, I was still pretty sleepy. I didn't even know he had a budgie!

He needs to employ The Olympic Committee if he wants to raise money. 8000 people chosen to run with the torch. What an honour. Oh, if you want to keep your torch that'll be £200.00. That's 1.6 milllion quid, thank you very much. Perhaps choosing 8000 people wasn't so much a case of inclusivity to the games but inclusivity to the funding of them!

Rubbing It In.

George Osborne is to announce that everyone is to receive a personalised statement on what their tax has been spent on.

Why? What good can it do. Are you going to feel happy with how much tax you are paying if you see a breakdown of it's division. Will you feel happier that the money you have to spend each month seems to be getting smaller but it is ok because you know exactly how much has been sent abroad in aid? Will they be telling you how much of your income tax has been diverted to producing your personalised statement, because at a rough guess the postage cost alone runs to £11 million pounds.

I really cannot see the sense in this. Maybe they think if they show how little is spent on politicians we might stop getting at them over the expenses scandal. But in fact they aren't going to go into that much detail, just mention the big three or four divisions, NHS, benefits, you get the idea. You already get the breakdown of your council tax and where that is spent. Hands up all those who sit down and read through it, relishing the statistics that tell you what percentage goes on street cleaning, local policing, supporting libraries.

They do have a rationale behind this and it's the second time in two days I have heard it. You will receive the statement so that you can "engage" with your personal taxation. Yesterday you found out where the Olympic torch would be to give every one the chance to "engage" with the Olympic Games.

Funnily enough it isn't the first engagement I've had of a 20th March. In 1978 I got engaged to my future wife. It must be something in the air.

Arsonists on the Loose

The Olympic Torch route is being published today.

Not long now till a horde of random UK residents tear round the streets of Britain with flaming torches!

The torch will get within 10 miles of 95% of the population. Let's see how my family will do.

Me : Tuesday 24th July. About a 10 minute walk should give me a bit of a view.

My Mum : Sunday 8th July. Just 5 days late for my Mum's birthday it'll pass about 10 minutes walk away. Well, 10 minutes for me, about 20 mins for her, and it's uphill, so perhaps she'll give it a miss.

My Brother : Who knows? Apparently he lives near a very straight dotted line? No date, although it will be no more than 1 day either side of my mum as he only lives 5 miles away.

My Dad : 15 miles away on the 4th of July. A bit of a trek for him on his mobility scooter! Hopefully no-one on the Norfolk Broads is too bothered, particularly Sea Palling which is about as far as you can get from the route in that part of Norfolk.

So, I reckon I can see it. My brother could come over to my mum's and pick her up and take her to see it in St Albans, and my dad might as well not bother. In reality I suspect none of us will bother. As someone said on the news this evening, it's going to take a great deal more than that to get me involved in the Olympics!

Who's the Mummy?

Emma Bunton is Heart FMs Mother of the Year.

And Victoria Beckham came second. But they are wrong. The best Mummy by a long long way is mine. So there!

Freedom to Choose

Public Workers wages are to be frozen to bring them in line with the private sector.

So, Mr Osbourne has now decided he can freeze the wages of teachers and nurses, (those are the named groupings), as they seem to be 8% higher than comparable jobs in the private sector. Well, this is great news for the Magnificent M.

Now, although the pay might be frozen maybe now M will be able to move up a grade to get more money because she is capped because of her school size. And of course no extra amount of work gets you any extra money. All after school clubs are done for free. No overtime for teaching so that will surely be introduced to bring them in line with the private sector. Oh, and flexi-time. It'll be nice to go in at 10 some mornings and stay till 6 so there aren't any kids about, much easier. I wonder who will teach for the missing hour? Holidays whenever we want to take them. Cheap rates for us then. Hooray! Off to have a tea or coffee when she fancies one. Drift off to lunch when it's convenient. Make a few personal calls and surf the net if she's at a loose end.

And yet, I suspect that isn't what is envisaged. Of course, teachers and nurses might decide to take industrial action just like in the private sector. When insurance workers go on strike you'll probably not particularly care. It might be mildly inconvenient of them but really does it matter? Of course a striking teacher is purposely trying to ruin your child's education because they are a hard-hearted bunch, just like the nurses who are intent on making sure your family members die.

Of course, there is one bunch of workers in the Public sector who have lost out big time. It's MPs. When their pay comes up for discussion they are remarkably underpaid compared to the private sector. It's why their pay has to go up each year. But not to worry because they do look long and hard at their circumstances before they vote themselves a payrise. Which luckily has been agreed by the independent body who look at the MPs wages.

So, 24 hours ago teachers were told they have to become hard-line on literacy. Today they are told they are overpaid, not long ago their pensions were considered too high, which is strange because public sector pensions were set higher to make up for the lower wages that public sector workers get. (Some mistake here surely). And of course last month there was the discussion about what to do with all the teachers who aren't up to the job. Well I can promise you one thing. All the ones that are good are thinking of leaving because teaching isn't what it was and I suspect neither is nursing. You know those people who answer the phones in call centres and don't know what the hell is going on with anything because the computer doesn't tell them. Welcome to the next draft of teachers because that is the standard of worker the government are going to be attracting with their relentless attack on the profession.

The Price of Fame

Russell Brand has been arrested following an incident with a photographer.

Who'd be a celebrity? I can't stand Mr Brand myself but I do have some sympathy with celebrities. Once you are outside your own home you are considered fair game, sometimes even when you are in it. The argument is always that if you rely on publicity for your career then the public has a right to access at all times. By the same token though, if you are a teacher, and paid for by the public purse, should members not be able to stop you in the street and insist you spell them a word or add some figures up? Perhaps I can get the postman who lives on our estate to go deliver my mums card to St Albans?

It seems to me that the sensible thing is, when celebrities are working they are on call, when they are not working, just leave them alone. It's not like they are stalked to get a good news story, it is always to try and feed the "publics desire" for seeing rich or successful people suffer. Because these days what passes for entertainment is magazines and programmes full of stories to make the populace feel better at others expense. Watch X Factor in the early rounds, not to hear good singers but to watch "the freak show". Big Fat Gypsy Wedding isn't shown to improve relations between the travelling peoples and the general public. And what's worse is that these people appearing are so desirous of being celebrities they make idiots of themselves just for their 15 minutes of fame.

The Magnificent M sometimes asks the kids at school what they want to do when they are older. No more train drivers, doctors, nurses. Boys want to be footballers, even when they can't kick a ball for toffee and the girls all want to marry footballers. Apparently a footballers wife is a career choice.

Now, if you are at the concert I'm in tonight, could you all cheer really loudly and scream when I sing my solo line. After all, I don't want to be left out. I'll be signing autographs after!

Reading

Literacy levels in primary schools are slipping.

Just part of the full headline but one that appears with remarkable regularity. The Chief Inspector of Schools made one very good point; we've got to stop coming up with soundbite solutions. This has been the role of government for years now to say something clever and then try to implement it in school. The trouble is, by the time you have implementation it's time for another soundbite. That has left a trail of confusion. Are you teaching the alphabet, phonetics, phonics.... and if it's confusing for the teachers then it sure is for the kids.

The next problem is that the main wave of teachers coming through now are the ones where literacy was already badly taught and their grip of grammar is weak and their spelling is average at best.

So, teachers have to be "hardline" now. I'm not sure how. The biggest help will be reading to them. That would be the parents job but then many of the present parents are the children who didn't learn to read before. You can force in rules of grammar and pronunciation as much as you like but that is only part of it. It's the listening that the new children do that teaches them vocabulary and the rules of English. Because it's only by listening to certain words in the context that it's set that means someone knows whether the title to this blog refers to a pastime or a town in Berkshire.

No Smoke Without Fire

Kerry Katona is in trouble for saying there isn't any real harm in having the odd cigarette whilst pregnant.

Ms Katona puts her foot in it again. This time in defending her fellow "Face of Iceland" colleague Stacey Soloman who, wait for it, has been deposed as "Mother of the Year" having been caught smoking whilst pregnant with her next child.

I've never smoked and can't really be doing with it but I have a bit of sympathy for them in as much as, harking back to yesterdays post, this is a relatively new medical phenomenom. Not immediately recent, but 50 years ago it wouldn't have been picked up at all. All the medical advice is not to smoke during pregnancy because all these things can happen to the baby. They always said that t would make babies smaller but I think I'm right in saying that the average baby weight is less now that it was 50 years ago.

Funnily enough we were talking about smoking at work on Monday. It seems so natural not to go to pubs and restaurants and they be smoke free but it isn't that long ago that it changed. One of the guys was saying that 20 years back he knew someone who owned a restaurant who decided it should be smoke free. He reckoned the bloke would go bust within 6 months, but he didn't. And I can remember working through the Good Pub Guide looking for the few pubs that were no smoking, or at least with one no smoking bar.

But more worrying than the smoking angle is, how do we survive when Stacey Soloman is Mother of the Year. Although I am prepared to say this is a step up from Katie Price.

Living is Killing Us

Eating red meat regularly increases your chances of heart disease and cancer.

The idea red meat is bad for you has been around for ages. Along with virtually any other foodstuff you care to mention. Diets have changed over the decades. Our diet now is much healthier than it was but that is because it needs to be. 100 years ago, or really before that, we needed the calorific input. Day to day life was was energetic, both for men in employment and for women in the home. Nowadays we obviously have little to move for. Other than nipping to the loo you can pretty much spend an entire evening without moving. Remote controls, laptops, mobile phones, every convenience for you to sit on your backside for hours on end.

And so now we investigate everything we can about what we eat in order to make ourselves healthier. And what have we found? Food isn't particularly good for us. In a lot of cases though it is the same food we have had for centuries. True, the amount of processing has increased and the additives are a problem. So it becomes whether red meat is bad for us or whether the aftermath of how the cows are raised is bad for us. But then not all food was healthy in the old days.

The problem isn't with what we eat but in what we expend in calories. The less you move, the less calories you burn and, in addition, your digestive system doesn't work as well, which means food residues and the chemical compounds within spend longer in your body.

Now, I admit, exercise is not something I enjoy. And the older I get the less I fancy the look of it, but if I am to shake off some if this weight, I am going to have to do some because you can only cut so many calories out of your diet. But when I was young, of school age I was for ever out and about playing some game or other. We'd spend hours playing tennis or football or anything we could make up. But more and more, young people don't play out. Whether it is because it is perceived as not safe or whether kids have already learnt that a sedentary life is an acceptable life I'm not sure.

So perhaps in looking more and more at the food perhaps we need to work out how much more exercise we can get into peoples lives. But how we do that Lord only knows.

Murderous Intent.

A man with "Locked-In Syndrome" fights for right to die.

Since the headline first thing this morning we now know that Tony Nicklinson can take his "right to die" a step further by having it fully discussed both in Parliament and with medical representation.

I, for one, hope he succeeds. I know that there are lots of moral reasons on either side of the argument but it always strikes me as strange that it is considered humane to put down an animal that is in pain, has little chance of survival or will have no quality of life but when it comes to a human me must keep them alive at whatever cost.

I know that if my mum was on a life support system or in such a mental or physical state that she has no quality of life, she wants to be helped off. She has told me so. I know it would be very hard to make the decision but I know that is what she wants and I love her enough to give her her final wish. But I hope fervently that I never have to.

It's going to be interesting to see what the final outcome is but I suspect that in the end the law won't change. Although to not change the law is discriminatory to the disabled. The able bodied are able to take their own lives, even as assisted suicide the "patient" has to administer the drugs themselves, but the severely disabled can't.This is why Tony is fighting, because he can't administer those drugs, so why, if he asks someone to do it, with all the safeguards that can be put in place, is he not given the same right as the able bodied?

Aspiration

This is somewhat connected to the previous post.

One of the feeds I follow on Twitter is for The South Bank. Just to keep up with who is appearing there. During this weekend they have been discussing Feminism, yet again.

One of the threads concerned the programme Ladettes to Ladies and whether the term Lady should be dropped as a term for women as it packages them in a certain way. Bollocks, or whatever the female equivalent expletive might be! Here is an example of dumbing down again. Rather than try to better yourself and your social standing lets all head the way of the lowest common denominator, the "Lad" so that we can drink, sleep around and basically do what we feel like. That is not feminist equality, that is sexist jealousy.

I don't mind if young women want to go out and drink all night and sleep with every Tom, Dick or Harry, but then, don't complain you can't find any decent husbands. Men have lots of different "types" as well. The Lad is just one of them, and letting young girls know that the emulation of that one single group is worth striving for is condemning them to a life well below their own expectations.

I would rather live in a world where everyone could just be themselves and be the best they can, but it isn't here now whilst men idolise footballers and women can vote Katie Price as mother of the year.

Education for the Masses

University students are going to strike this week to show what campuses will look like if the government continue to put up tuition fees.

University students have been protesting for as long as I can remember and before. A large group of young people is always going to have a political element. They will also probably be as close to socialist in their views as they will ever be. Idealism is the badge of students. With their whole life before them why should they not think they can change the world. Every generation believes this but I suspect the vast majority end up in no better or worse place than their parents, living in a world that just repeats it's triumphs and disasters over and over again.

The big difference this time ought to be that there are many more students out on strike. With the political push that everyone should have the opportunity to go to university, and by renaming all the colleges to their senior counterpart, there should be 10 times the number of students not bothering to get out of bed picketing.

I think the education system as a whole has lost it's way, although there are encouraging signs that at infant/primary level they are returning to the old skills of learning the alphabet and multiplication tables. They say that the education system has not been dumbed down but there is no way that the pass rate of GCSE and A levels hasn't been dropped to increase pass rates. I have had this argument with my brother for some time. He believes that it is just different but still as hard. If that was the case then the "real" universities wouldn't be re-testing people for admission. Some of the university lecturers we know are tearing their hair out as students turn up to take degrees without the knowledge to begin, and crash courses need to be run to get them up to level.

Nothing will change now though. Who is going to reduce the number of university places. How wonderful is it that your children can go to university now when before they would have done the same course in the same building but only have gone to college.

I wish we could go back to a system where the academic went to University, the mainstream go to college and those who have struggled academically go to technical college or art/music colleges where they can be taught useful skills or to evolve their artistic skills. No-one is made intelligent by the fact they can attend a university rather than a college but lives are ruined by taking the colleges away from the less academic and putting nothing in it's place.

Mr Watson, Come here, I want to see you.

For reasons of shopping, housework and all sorts I didn't get to hear the Heart news this morning so, rather than miss a day of news blogging, I thought I would look back at the news for March 10th. And I discovered it is the 136th anniversary of what I think is probably the most amazing invention ever.

On March 10th 1876, Alexander Graham Bell picked up his prototype telephone and made the first telephone call uttering the words in the title.

I have always found the telephone interesting. Like most kids I did the two cans attached by a piece of string thing and I also remember having a plastic version of the same system which must have some connection to a Gerry Anderson programme such as Fireball XL5 of Supercar.

I remember as a cub scout going to learn how to make a phone call from a public payphone. That in the days where you pressed button A to connect and button B to return your 1d if there was no answer. Our phone "numbers" still had letters in them. Ours was EAL 5234, part of the Ealing exchange. Using the phone at home was still quite special. We didn't really phone friends very often because we saw them at school and we could survive until the next day without contact, unlike the present generation. If it was really necessary to speak to my best mate I'd nip round to his house and see if he could come out to play. We had old dial phones obviously, and then push button phones. We even had a trim phone with it's strange warbling ringtone.

But the thing that makes it such an astonishing invention for me is that I can pick up a phone and speak to someone virtually anywhere on the planet within a couple of seconds. It doesn't matter how many thousands of miles away they are, they are just a few key-punches away.

And of course the things we can now do with mobiles and data sending etc is impressive but it still doesn't beat punching a dozen or so numbers and speaking to a friend or relative on the other side of the world and then sounding so close you could say "come here, I want to see you".

Giving and Receiving

Today is the last day of Heart's "Have a Heart" Appeal.

Like most radio stations these days there is a week of fundraising. Heart have been raising money for Childline. And like most other radio stations they have been having a week of auctions. Today you could buy the chance to be trapped entertained for a champagne trip on he London Eye with Shane Richie and another was afternoon tea with Jason Donovan.

I don't know when the trend of raising money by auction started but I've often thought if I had the money I might go for one. It does however strike me as being somewhat selfish. You have money you are willing to give to charity but you want something in return.

Anyway, I know what I shall spend my money on. It will be a private concert with either Jamie Cullum or Michael Buble. I'm not bothered about either but M has left me in no doubt that those are exactly the right things for me to bid on.

And after all, I don't want to upset her or I might end up in a condition where I need a charity auction to raise money to rebuild me!

Boris Bike Bonanza

The Boris Bike scheme has now extended to Westfield and Limehouse.

So there are now something like another 3000 bikes for hire. I've not yet checked them out so don't know what they cost or how the scheme works but they seem to be popular so at least that's one good thing.

There was more cycling news yesterday evening on tv. They were doing a report on the fact that the number of cyclists being injured on the roads in increasing. The fact that there are mor cyclists might have something to do with it but they did have one amazing fact that had come up in research. You'll never believe this, but...... cyclists who are hit by HGVs tend to sustain worse injuries than those hit by cars! No, surely not. Who'd have believed it!

But more interesting was a report of an accident between cyclist and car filmed by the cyclists on-helmet camera. Now, it was the car drivers fault but this is what happened. The cyclist approached a mini-roundabout with a fork left and right as an exit. The cyclist exits towards the right fork whilst a car comes straight out of the left hand fork and hits him. As I say, the car driver was at fault, he didn't stop as far as I could tell and just entered the roundabout without seeing the cyclist. But what also happened was that as the cyclist approached the roundabout he didn't reduce speed either nor, unless he is particularly adept at steering one hand, did he indicate he was going to move to the right fork. So yes, it was the car drivers fault but the cyclist must be held at least partly responsible. And to be honest, whether I was on my bike or in my car, I would have been watching that approaching car and getting ready to change my course if I thought there was problem.

So we are back to the age old problem of cyclists taking some responsibility for their own safety. And not be like the guy this morning who decided to cycle through a red light whilst chatting on his hand held mobile phone.

And in other news

Just checking the stats and have discovered that, although this blog has been going nigh on 6 years, 15% of all the page views ever, took place last month. Blimey!

Home and Away

Various bodies have suggested poeple holiday at home in the UK as a tribute for Her Majesty's Diamond Jubilee and to celebrate the Olympics.

The first point is that should you choose to do that would you please avoid London. It's not that many days since they were suggesting perhaps those who live and work in London might like to bugger off somewhere else during the Games and not get in the way of a) the sponsors, b) high spending visitors, c) the sponsors, d) essential traffic and e) the sponsors.

As the bodies doing the suggesting are, London Eye, Alton Towers and Butlins, one must assume they were rather hoping it would be their own attractions that benefited.

I suppose this follows the normal annual appeal to stay here or, as we now call it, have a staycation! I certainly had UK holidays when I was young. In fact up until I was 16 I'd probably only had three foreign holidays, one was courtesy of my best friends family. one was a school trip and the third when 16 was to Mallorca. That was so long ago that Magaluf was still a reasonably undeveloped area just down the coast from Palma Nova. Foreign travel, although becoming more available was still the expensive option. But nowadays would I expect to go abroad? Would the expensive option be UK? Even if abroad is a bit more expensive is it worth it for the guaranteed weather?

Nowadays I think of abroad as an annual holiday destination and the UK for long weekends or second holidays. What say you? And will you stay to celebrate this year or get as far away as possible?

Fit to Drop

Experts have warned Olympic athletes not to shake hands with spectators in case they pick up infections.

The ways in which I could have posted today with this story are varied and numerous. There can't be a satire programme on tv, radio, or relevant magazine who won't have a field day with this.

What do they think is going to happen? Hordes of foreigners coming over here with their nasty foreign germs. The working classes thronging to see the stars as they go about their daily business, coughing on their hands and then offering a handshake?

I suggest that from now until the actual Olympics, all UK athletes should live in oxygen tents, eating only sterilised food and, should they need to venture out, don space suits to protect them from a stray streptococcus.

After all, we wouldn't want any of our athletes to slump to 17th from their expected high of 15th!

The Benefit of Hindsight

The Government are to re-look at their decision to cut child allowance to families where one partner earns £40k.

And so they should. How can it be fair that a family where the joint income is 2x £39,000 and you keep it, whereas 1 x £41,000 and you lose it. I'm a Tory by nature but even I think that is the most absurd piece of mathematical economics I have ever heard.

I actually think they are looking at the entire situation wrongly. Instead of working out the family income for child allowance they should be looking at the number of children. It's a simple enough system. You get the allowance for your first two children and then nothing.

There, that isn't difficult.

Why should we have to support families who choose to have lots of children? And these days it is a choice. We have universal contraception in this country. Not to use it is a choice. I know there is a religious argument against contraception but, if a particular religion thinks mass procreation is a good idea then let it pay for it. I don't have a problem if someone chooses to have more children as long as they can afford to support them. Historically we often needed larger families due to infant mortality but that, to all intents and purposes, has disappeared, at least in this case. The Catholic church in particular wanted the Catholic population to spread and become a majority but that argument is surely redundant as I cannot see a reason to populate a particular religious group these days unless you are planning a religious war. (I am sure there are other religions I could pick on but The Roman Catholic Church is perhaps the highest profile one in the UK.

Compared to my ex I am positively liberal. She would then go on at +2 children to start fining families by way of tax allowance loss at best. Actually, she would probably vote for +2 euthanasia, but that's another story.

The argument is of course it penalises the poor. And yes it does to a degree, but there is no argument I can see for them wanting to have lots of children.

Of course my system can't be brought in overnight as that would be unfair to larger families as they exist, or, perhaps we can keep the pay out as it is today but draw a line at some point and then bring it in. A years warning or so would be enough.

I reckon that would save a lot more money in the long run than the present proposal. I await Mr Osbourne's call!

On a Knife's Edge

Extra Police being deployed in South London following yesterday's two stabbings.

There hardly seems to be a day goes by without a stabbing somewhere in London. Of course, carrying a knife now is a crime, when I was young it wasn't a crime to carry a knife, although it would have been to use one in a crime obviously. I don't think most young people carried them routinely except when in our scouts uniform and then we'd normally have a sheath knife on our belts in case we wanted to quickly whittle a stick. The occasional boy at school had a penknife, and the very occasional one had a flick knife. The latter being more a case of interest than of intended use.

It wasn't that we didn't have weapons should there be a fight. Not that I was ever involved by choice. The kids who were into such things used combs!

No, we weren't so effeminate at our school that a fight consisted of rearranging someone's coiffure! The rage at the time, for weaponry or not, were metal combs. We all had them. Not that half of us ever combed our hair, nor would they have been much use if we had wished to, as we wore ours at shoulder length, (well it was the 70s!), and it needed brushing. But come metalwork on a Tuesday afternoon, there would be a couple of lads who would be at the grinder honing the "spine" down to a sharp edge.

I only ever saw one incident involving one of the combknives, the problem being it was me and a friend being threatened. To cut a long story short, the person who threatened us ended up in borstal for a few weeks. Mainly because I swore blind it was a knife he was carrying. Funnily enough I ran into the guy a few months later at Griffin Park, home of the mighty Brentford FC. He was friendly enough and promised me it wasn't a knife. I admitted I knew and he was fine about it. I guess he saw it as an occupational hazard. Bang to rights and all that.

And today in South London there are Police roaming the streets, unable to stop anyone in case it's considered discriminatory, until perhaps someone gets stabbed. And it wouldn't be difficult to arrest people these days as to my knowledge, no-one is carrying a knife around legitimately anymore for whittling sticks.

Weather Watch

8:00 am News - 28 die in USA Tornadoes

Overnight, America had dozens of tornadoes hitting what I think is the mid-west. Meanwhile, New Zealand was experiencing what is known as a "weather-bomb". No, I'm not sure either but having caught up with a number of other social networking friends it appears to have been a very short sharp shock of weather where the temperature plummeted, winds soared and torrential rain fell. Meanwhile here in the South East it is just going into March and we already experiencing drought conditions.

One thing I learnt at school was that the UK never suffers the greatest extremes of weather as we are a maritime climate, yet more and more the weather does appear to be changing from how it used to be. The environmentalists are as always happy to jump on the global warming soapbox, and yet records show that the average temperature now is one degree lower than in Elizabethan times. There are the "rose tinted glasses" memories of yesteryear when we has snowy Christmases and boiling hot summers, though reality is different, Easter having more snow than Christmas and summers only being really good on an 11-12 year cycle. But there is no doubt that the type of weather we are having is different.

And what is different though is something known as The Madrid Line. (Not to be confused with The Madrid Fault Line). The Madrid Line is used in the glazing industry to identify the point going round the globe with ideal conditions. It passes through Madrid hence the name.

Or it did.

The line now passes through Paris rather than a few hundreds miles south. The earth has tilted. To me this makes much more sense as to why our weather is different from the "norm" as the "tilt" has happened in less that 25 years. And it is predicted it will only take another 13 years to tilt enough to put the UK on The Madrid Line.

Now, I don't think it's really a tilt. It is known that the Earth wobbles on it's axis and it is obviously in a state of wobble. Hopefully we will wobble off back to where we were because regardless of whether we know what the weather will be from one day to another, the seasons will change from their traditional months of the year, and that will be bad news for birds, beasts and land as well. And the Earth wobbling seems so much more plausible than death by aerosol.